Folly Beach

Folly Beach
1/23/11 - Maria

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

You Can't See Me

 " It's a world of struggle, we do what we can...with what we have.."

As I stand here in my kitchen, chopping up the vegetables to make our homemade pasta sauce with chicken, I peek out the window every so often.

There, far across the neighborhood crosses a man...dressed in white, although his clothing is so beaten and stained.  He is walking home, whatever that may be to him.  Not looking back he walks hurriedly, I glance hidden behind my own secure home and behind the blinds of comfort.

His walk reflects that of a foreigner, walking home from work, so patiently, yet so humbly.  Although I do not know him and had never taken a moment to glance out the window and look at those who cross out there...I get this sudden feeling that in his mind there is anxiety.

He hurries home, the storm is brewing up very quickly.  Thunder strikes near by, lightning strikes, yet he walks home.  So unsure about his reality, so invisible to the watchful eyes such as myself. 

I admire the hard work that Hispanics/Latinos, and those who want to make a living for themselves go through on a day to day basis.  I work and very hard, but God has blessed me so much as to say that my necessities are covered.  I may not have all I want, but I am a healthy individual with a pure life of satisfaction.  Sure everyone wants more, however, I must continue to work hard to achieve and make mt dreams come true.

This realization comes from admiring this individual making his way home. Who knows, he might not even live with his own family, he might not have a wife or kids waiting on him.  He might be all alone in a world unknown to him and strange in every aspect of it's culture.  But he is working, and is setting aside his pride. 

With his head lowered, only taking quick steps he makes the turn and he disappears from view...my heart is touched by the emotions of pity, yet I know I should not feel that way, I feel bad for his struggles and how he must go through the hardships of discrimination, stress of not learning the English language, and being targeted by those who lurk around to rob of him and deprive him of his labored earnings. 

This may seem so weird to the reader, it does not matter, perhaps this will make you aware of your sorroundings.  We are so busy doing our own  thing that we forget that there are others outside of our own bubble.  We complain, I complain about my lack of luxury or others indulge too much in their own wealthy glass bubbles that never take a the time to acknowledge what happens all around them. 

For some reason I seem to feel someone's pain trasnmitted through a simple body expression, in this case his walk. Perhaps I am too much of an observant and I give people the benefit of the doubt.  Other times, I know I can feel through the distant look in people's eyes their vibe or calling for help. 

Whatever his story may be, I do not know, but what I am sure of is that I am blessed and grateful to know that I do not have to struggle as much as others have to in order to survive in this cruel world.

So I leave you with this thought: would you be willing to lend a hand even if you did not know the person? Would you take that risk?  It does not matter how you help, it is that you actually do it.

God bless all and may every heart find within them a desire to be better and respect every person regardless of ethnicity, culture, language, etc...

Friday, March 30, 2012

REFLECCION DE UN AMOR PROFUNDO

En Esta vida, desde pequeños aprendemos a caminar, hablar, a no meter las manos en cosas que nos lastiman, y a como saber escuchar a nuestros padres.  Todo se aprende desde chico.  Hay ciertas cosas que nuestros padres nos prohiben, cosas que no nos permiten ni pensar en hacer. ¿Por que nos protejen tanto? Dicen que para protejernos y que es por nuestro bien. De igual manera encontramos esa pequeña voz muy profunda en nuestro ser que nos sigue metiendo muchas curiosidades y nos tenta para ver que tan fuerte somos los seres humanos o que tan deviles. Todo lo buscamos, pasamos por caminos muy dificiles, aveces intimidantes que pensamos que fallaremos nuestra prueba de fe, sinceridad, y confianza.  Pero no es asi.  Hay mucho mas en esta vida que cada corazon intenta y se esfuerza para conquistar y seguir el viaje de aventura y desafios de por vida.

Todo en esta vida tiene su motivo, su proposito por asi decir.  Las cosas no ocurren solo por ocurrir.  Las oportunidades no se presentan solas pero con cada manifestacion es una revelacion de enseñanza para ser personas mas fuertes, valientes, y ser una de esas personas que toma iniciativa y se arriesgan a ser los primeros en tomar la armadura y ser los lideres de esas grandes batallas llamadas dificultades de esta vida.  ¿Cuales son esas dificultades o requisitos de esta sociedad que nos estresan de tal manera que pareciera que este mundo es vivir solo para finjir tener vida? Esas pequeñas claves, o clavos por asi decirlo son esas responsabilidades: llegar a tiempo al trabajo, no faltar, el cumplir con todas las expectativas del hogar, de cumplir con todas las obligaciones asi sean las que la sociedad nos requiere o las que nosotros mismos nos proponemos.  Esas cosas llamadas meta, esas virtudes llamadas abilidades, esos son detalles que nuestra sobrevivencia nos pide que sigamos para completar todo una vida.  El dia a dia, minuto tras minuto se presentan esan responsabilidades, pruebas de fe, y ¿para que? Para hacer de cada persona una mejor! Para darnos la fuerza, para crear y generar una fortaleza, para hacer los simientos de nuestra vida mas fuerte y poder resister cualquier catastrofe.

Cada etapa de esta vida tiene muchas lecciones que aunque no queramos pasarlas, no hay como esquibarlas y dejar de aprender la leccion de sobrevivencia.

En mi corazon fue escrita la lectura y historia de una mujer que tendria que aprender a sobrevivir y luchar fuertemente sin darse por vencida.  Se que en esta vida las cosas suelen ser demaciado pesadas y poder cargar tanto peso en mis hombros es de por si un reto en si mismo.  Aveces me pregunto, ¿Sera que en realidad Dios me ama lo suficiente como para dejar que estas cosas me pasen? Tengo hoy por hoy la suficiente sabiduria para decir que esa pregunta la hacia equibocadamente.  Dios no permite, las cosas que nos pasan nos enseña a madurar, nos guia hacia adelante para aprender con el pasar de cada dia para enseñarles bien a nuestros hijos, a nuestros futuros.

¿Te preguntaras, de que habla? ¿Por que escribe todo esto?

Es por que sobre todas las cosas, sobre cada marca infeliz o cada sicatriz en nuestra alma reina lo que nadie te puede quitar: el amor.  El amor es lo mas bello, lo mas delicado, una emocion tan divina que no importa cuanto lo grites o lo escribas, no deja de existir en lo mas profundo de cada ser.

¿Que tipos de Amor? El verdadero amor a ti mismo.  Respetarte a ti mismo(a), valorarte, darte la prioridad de ser unica e indespensable. Cada individuo es unico y por mas que hoy por hoy se pueda clonar a una persona, jamas seran como la verdadera persona que fuistes tu.  Existe el amor entre familia que merece su sincero y unico espacio, existen el amor hacia las amistades un amor de sentirse como hermanos, y existe el amor unico entre pareja.  Un amor que se revela para completar ese vacio en tu corazon....por mas que lo niegue una persona, es inebitable, todos los seres humanos tienen un vacio en su alma, en su vida que solo se completa con una pareja que complimente todo lo que no sabe...

El amor es un gesto que recibimos en las entrañas de nuestras madres, algo que no importa cuales sean las circumstancias, no importa cuanto dolor, cuanto sufriemiento exista en esa mujer...al final de los 9 meses esa criaturita es un verdadero regalo de vida y amor.  Amor por que inocentemente esa pequeña vida hace desconocer toda desigualdad, descilucion, y hace olvidar cualquier problema presente.  Desde bebes aprendemos a ver el mundo a travez de los ojos de nuestros padres y aprendemos que las emociones, los gestos de amor suelen ser expresados en diferentes formas y dialectos.  El amor no se enseña, sino se genera en la profundidad de nuestro ser por que esa es una virtud que Dios nos otorgo un verdadero regalo de Dios.

En la realidad, todos pasan dificultad en expresar el amor, al recivirlo y al manifestarse no logramos entenderlo.  Muchas veces, pasan años antes de encontrar el verdadero desafio de amar y ser amados. Algo que nunca estamos preparados sicologicamente es como evitar heridas a nuestro corazon.  ¿Que tipos de heridas? Esas heridas llamadas deciluciones, ambiciones, y despechos.  El corazon, no el organo, sino el sentimiento....sufre con cada detalle perdido.  Al ser rechasado, al perder a un amor unico, al pasar por etapas de desiluciones.  Esos sentiminetos que el corazon clasifica como fracasos suelen sanar con el tiempo.

El tiempo lo sana todo, asi dicen los grandes sabios, pero honestamente, no siempre esta correctos con su filosofia.  Hay amores que jamas se olvidan.  Hay amores que dejan una marca muy profunda y no logran sanar con el tiempo.  ¿Se llama amor verdadero o tan solo una obsession? 

Dependiendo, si estas enamorado de esa persona y continuas en comunicacion y nunca se apago esa llama en tu corazon.  Esto debe de ser sentidos mutuamente, pero si eres de esas personas que dice amar por que crees que sientes algo sin sentirlo en realidad entonces no estas siendo sincero con tu corazon.  Tienes falsas esperanzas y vives metido(a) en esos sentimientos de un ayer que dejo de existir muchos años a tras.  ¿Es una persona capas de seguir amando despues de años sin contacto, sin afecto, sin nada de nada? Esa respuesta se las dejo a los que han pasado por esos momentos.  Hay personas que por interes dicen seguir enamorados por que ven los cambios de una persona y desen estar ahi con el/ella.  O capas son infeliz y desean nada mas interrumpir una familia feliz.  Cualquier sea el caso, hay amores que se guardan muy profundo y con el tiempo suelen ser un tesoro que jamas seran descubiertos.

En mi caso, honestamente puedo decir que estoy 100% enamorada de mi esposo.  En nuestras vidas hay mucho por lo que estar agradecidos, hacemos los sacrificios juntos, y hacemos lo impossible por la felicidad del uno al otro.  Si hay pruevas de fe, hay obstaculos y han habido pequeños tropezones, pero nada de gravedad como para dejar que nuestra vela deje de brillar.

Con cada etapa de la vida, nuestro ser crece mas y mas, vivimos en iguldad, aprendemos a leer el dialecto de amor del uno al otro. 
Los dejo con este pensamiento, ¿Que tipo de amor existe en ti hoy por hoy?


[Esta refleccion continuara muy pronto]

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Canciones de Maná

"The songs captured the daily adventures, so vividly, as if they were different cameras filming from different angles, the songs grasped their feelings, their emotions...to later in life reveal their roots, their life struggles as a memory, an epic film of the 5 niños..."

Canciones del Corazon - Songs of the heart

Everyone has a song of their own. A song that summarizes the most memorable moments during childhood, youth, and adulthood.  The songs we choose to hold inside our hearts and minds create that perfect harmony along the story that if ever needs to be told, will bring forth such a fresh experience to the heart.  The heart has it's way to reach out to others and chant a song of purity, passion, and even anguish and negativity.  The song of the 5 niños, rests mostly on those lyrics sung by the group Maná, a rock and roll band from Mexico.

Everyone has a song of that they can relate to, a song that their heart sings, and spills those memories of the past..revealing them at the most appropriate time, when the heart needs a little encouragement.  As humans, we hold to a song that connects our current life to that of the past, takes a hold of you and moves back the hands of the clock to give you that piece of an enchanted life.  It is a magical moment, undescribable, yet so vivid and pure.

[I have my songs, yes, the songs that directed the life of struggle, the life of "Job" if you will.  When I hear the tune of the harmonica when it perfectly releases a melody without missing a note, my eyes line up perfectly to that distant point in the thin air...my mind travels to those days of glory and mischief.  It travels to that first time my heart held that song and chanted over and over the words.....]

[And it goes something like this: ]

There stood the thin almost bony little girl, so out of place with her blonde hair waving as the wind brushed against her, she stood there playing with her hair twisting the ends while her lips moved to the tune of Maná.  As if subconciously making a mental note that one day she would have to make reference to that very day and that very song.  She stood there, her eyes fixed to a point somewhere in time as if staring into the eyes of the future, her own eyes as an adult.

"Rayando El Sol" played the beat of the drums, the sound of the guitar was telling the heart to hold it tight.  Es mafacil llegar al sol que a tu corazon, me muero por ti, viviendo sin ti, y no aguanto, me duele tanto estar asi, rayando el Sol.... these words played over and over her head, Trapping every bit of those memories.  The cameras of her eyes and those eyes from the future were capturing her emotions, that intense moment of silence....capturing every detail of her sorrounding, her heart beat with the sound of the music telling her to visualize and transport those images to that individual staring back at her.

 The house overlooked this small canyon (Barranco), when it rained it flooded, often it became their playground.  The trees leaning over the canyon were their forts, their imagination grew wild and they used every bit of their available resources to entertain themselves. It was an epic moment. The niños played so freely, so innocently they moved about the branches...their minds occupied by the moment's mysterious mischiefs.  The land had several weak points of erosion.  Slowly the erosion would've reached the house, however, they were raptured before they learned what became of the house.

The front of the house had this perfect clearing from when all 5 kids would play, and through it ran the dirt road that was frequented by the cows, the horses, and the bulls Papa Chico used for his daily transportation and that of the Carreta.  That dirt road had a guayaba tree right next to the canyon, and as it kept running down, had Tiguilote trees, and next to it was the well the kids had artistically build with their own hands.

They lived there in that place in those days, as if carefully placed by a mysterious crafter who was fully aware that those moments would become a positive reinforcer in their future lives.  Oh, so magistic were the days, their adventures, their pain, their hunger for life, and their thirst for the unknown.  It was if the writter of their story knew perfectly well that their minds would connect.  The mind of the abandoned memory and that of the present soul who desperately sought to re-connect and live those days of glory.

Rayando el Sol translates to "scratching the sun," meaning that it is easier to reach the sun than to get those old joyeous emotions back.  The past is a mere memory, an episode of life that although everyone craves it, they get lost in the gigantous mouth of the wordly deeds and sinful ways of this life...forgetting and setting aside the true meaning of life.  As the song claims, you can look up and feel the sun warming your skin and giving you that moment of peace...it is often easier to live the now and ignore what we have learned, what we are made off. 

The 5 niños learned their life, they lived those moments holding tight to each other.  Staring at the sun and loosing their vision into the future...they lived that moment.  It all happened very fast, they were alone however, there came that day... they were taken from their roots and misplaced in a world of perdition...in a world of uncomprehended methods of life.  It was for their own good so the story told.... and indeed it has been for their own good. 

It was an act of methamorphosis, a complete transformation from a life of poverty, freedom, high spirited living to a monotone ways of life.  Where everything was different: the buzzing of the cars fumigating the fresh air with their contaminating smoke, the sound of busy people rushing to live life and forgetting about the most important aspect of life - living a day, a time worry free.  Everywhere the niños looked, where ever they went, they were confronted by the ethnocentric beings of this culture, accussing them of vile things, considering them outsiders, invaders of their perfectly round egocentrical almost selfish world.

The songs rings true, Rayando el Sol - and there she stands next to a palm tree gazing back in time staring straight into that sunset and slowly adding years to her life.  Much older now, she still sits back to gaze to that horizon the environment creates when the sun goes down and connects to those of the little blond haired girl staring back at her.

And thus their world connect through the time machine of the epic sun set, driving their world much closer than what could be imagined. 



"And so, her heart felt fear, yet it was contempt to know that her world had drastically changed and admired the goodness and puerest of glorious deeds in her life...so she lost her reality into the majestic sunset...gazing into the horizon.."

Monday, February 20, 2012

When Something Ends

"...when something ends in this life, it leaves an empty space in our hearts, a void, a gap that is not easily filled..."

Our human heart can only take so much pressure, so much pain...with each stab, it draws weak.
We go through different episodes of "loses" and each affects our inner beings in different ways.  The loss of a love one, death, losing a friendship, losing a battle in a relationship, etc...these are examples of voids the heart expiriences.

My heart has yet again taken another stab.  Today I have lost a person whom I grew to love, regardless of the difficulties of life, she was as much part of my life as anyone I can remember from my childhood. 

My aunt, my auncle's wife has passed today from kidney failure.  She opened her arms and heart, and the doors of her home to us way back when kids.  Will not elaborate on details, but eventually if you haven't read, you should have a clear picture by now...she was a pillar in my life and because I admired what she did and how she gave unconditional love, I sought to be just like her and the women in my life that inspired me to be a giver with no expectations.

God, please bless the family that is so far away, keep them in your loving care and give them what we can only wish them. The comfort to move forward and trust in Your hands that this too shall come to pass.

It is difficult to loose a love one, much more when you know it is in a death situation.  To all my family, we are so close, yet soo far away.  I love all of you and I am praying...keeping you all in my thoughts.

Words cannot express the deepest of pain of a human heart, they come close to resembling, but will never paint the perfect picture....

God Bless you Maria! You were such a great person and for all you did in our lives, I thank the LORD that you were part of the pillar in my life, that I learned from you to be responsible, to mature, and to always take initiatives.  I may have never had an opportunity to show my deepest of gratitude because of the distance..in my heart those who contributed to making the kind of woman I am today hold a special place, you are one of those people.  Thank you LORD for putting this amazing person in my life and for giving me a reason to further be of Gratitude...I pray for her family, to be strong and to know that YOU ARE UNDER CONTROL.

Los amo mucho a todos y Dios sabe que pronto nos veremos otra vez.



"...de la tierra venimos y a la tierra volvemos....Life is a precious gift, given to learn, mature, and to grasp to the most important aspect of life: family...love, and never ending gratitude..."