There is a Way

"When all else fails, lean on Jesus, know that He is constantly listening regardless..."

It is indeed a test of faith having to constantly put up with the negativity behind you.  Sometimes I feel as though I am drowning, the mountains become higher and fierceful with so many obstacles.  The currents become so strong I can hardly manage to move or attempt to swim across.  Sometimes, giving up sounds bitter sweet than to have to carry a load that does not belong to me. Or does it? Is this my greatest test?

So, then how to I manage all of this? Above all things, above all this, there is someone out there in the heavens above patiently thinking of me and prepairing the most beautiful gifts any woman could ask for.....

Oh, I must be patient and wait for all you have for me.  I am running out of energy, I feel ready to surrender, I want to escape so badly the trecherous ways of this life.  Lord will you hear the cry of my heart? Will you bring me the understanding and wisdom to become that woman of excellence, to be a sister to those in need, to be a mother to the motherless who so passionately sit and wait to feel that love?

Just as the songs says, "who am I?" what purpose do I serve here and how do I continue with such low doze of energy?  I need a fresh renewal, a new me, a new person that can step forward and walk through the fierces of storms...to be that person to stand proud and strong...

this is the song of my heart.  The cries as I continue to press on forward getting stabbed left and right.  Get attacked by the most ferocious of beasts, the meaningless words, and the desperate cries of the sharpest tongues at their best...spilling their every bit of energy and "luscious" words of wisdom.

And thus, I sit up, lift my head up high and continue to walk through the thorny fields of excellence...passing through the vineyards of torment, yet I know that they are mere statues, pillars standing firm as a remnant of those tests of faith, they sit still watching me go and I continue on forward and not looking back.

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Another note I had accidentally saved on the drafts a long while ago. So here it is...sometimes it does some good to the heart to release the inner bitterness....we are all human beings and for as much as anyone seeks to be a perfect person, we have this part of our heart that needs to be unleashed....set it free...and don't allow for build up.....

peace everyone.