"And as I glanced out of the corner of my eye, there stood the figure...the face...serious, but forgiving. He stood there setting aside his personal shame and embarrassment...waiting, simply waiting to be noticed...he stood there...so visible, yet invisible to the many hearts who simply glanced past him...and the humble heart, stumbled upon the symbolic object...."
It's Friday, 4pm somewhere in the middle of a hot-humid summer day. Kids are not in school, rather enjoying themselves at the local beach, rivers, or lakes. Everyone is unaware of the details that sorround our community.
Today, it is one of those Fridays, all entreprenurs, business folks, the typical or average worker is calling it the day. The typical paycheck to paycheck survivors are anxiously driving to their bank to cash in their weekly efforts to better their life. And yet, hidden behind this fast paced scenario is one man. A man, like a shadow perfectly standing there on top of the Montague overpass over the I-26 interstate. Quietly, so concentrated in just glancing through the windshields and into the minds of the unaware souls of his existence. Who is this man? And what is he doing there?
I am one of those passer bys, I capture his image out of the corner of my eye and he stands there, firmly. Lost in a world of his own, deep thought, slightly rubbing his well kept beard. Although it is a hot day, he is standing there with the Sun hitting behind him, making him the perfect invisible being to the eyes of the drivers passing underneath him. But faithfully, religously, he stands there every Friday staring into the distance of the long-rush hour traffic, hoping, and never loosing faith that someone out there will notice IT.
As he stands there so patienly, you can see he has labored so hard to be where he is. Although the Montegue passer bys get distracted, most have become acustomed to seeing him there. His attention however, is on those below him. As the sun blazes behind him, there IT stands, the CROSS. A wooden CROSS that he has so genuinly attached a wheel on the very bottom so that when he is carrying it, it becomes easier on his back and does not drag all the way up the ramp.
YES. He is carrying that cross with a purpose. Perhaps some may consider him a crazy old man. Someone who has nothing better to do, however, it is a simple reminder that regardless of where you are, what you are doing, even if stuck in a mad traffic such as I-26, that you should sit still for a moment and praise God for the wonders He is actively doing in everyone's life. He stands there, not asking for you to throw him money, nor for you to feel pitty or to show off his faith. He is there to give that symbol of peace and sanity.
As anyone who has ever driven on I-26 anytime and any day between the hours of 3pm and 6pm, you can expect to have some angry, frustrated drivers, yet they pause at the sight of such eloquent symbol.
"and so the figure who once had been invisible, the light finally shone upon the meaning of his presence...the light Reflected the one symbol the man was carrying...the CROSS"
Everyone has a cross of their own. We all have our daily struggles and we have to choose how we want to handle the daily tests of faith. Those sudden "burdens" often blind us from the real thing - the CROSS....and learning how to be still before our Maker.
*****this is an interesting note. I have noticed this guy before and always have wondered why he does it. I don't have a picture as there is no way to stop and take a picture because of the constant flow of traffic. However, he is always there. I always thought that he came long distances, yet although I do not have an answer for that, I can almost be certain he parks his car/truck not too far off. it takes true courage to do something that to others would look silly and embarrasing. I am not even sure I could do it....it looks a bit intimidating, but God knows this man is courageous. He might have his reasons behind this, but the most obvious point, he is reminding us of our cross and the True Cross that our father carried to forgive our own sins....it is a reminder that we need to trust on the Lord and let him pull the burdens off our shoulders and give us rest...it is a matter of learning to ask for that Help. It is very humbling seeing this act of pure unselfishness. That he takes his time to carry that huge cross and stand there amongst those many passer bys and their eyes heavily fixed on him and that object of his. IT is indeed a very humbling act.
There, he has made his point with me. I have noticed him and the cross and I have reached out everytime to my own. The man knows what he is doing, although it looks insanely ridiculous. I know where my cross is and I know WHO is in charge.
Folly Beach
1/23/11 - Maria
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
There is a Way
"When all else fails, lean on Jesus, know that He is constantly listening regardless..."
It is indeed a test of faith having to constantly put up with the negativity behind you. Sometimes I feel as though I am drowning, the mountains become higher and fierceful with so many obstacles. The currents become so strong I can hardly manage to move or attempt to swim across. Sometimes, giving up sounds bitter sweet than to have to carry a load that does not belong to me. Or does it? Is this my greatest test?
So, then how to I manage all of this? Above all things, above all this, there is someone out there in the heavens above patiently thinking of me and prepairing the most beautiful gifts any woman could ask for.....
Oh, I must be patient and wait for all you have for me. I am running out of energy, I feel ready to surrender, I want to escape so badly the trecherous ways of this life. Lord will you hear the cry of my heart? Will you bring me the understanding and wisdom to become that woman of excellence, to be a sister to those in need, to be a mother to the motherless who so passionately sit and wait to feel that love?
Just as the songs says, "who am I?" what purpose do I serve here and how do I continue with such low doze of energy? I need a fresh renewal, a new me, a new person that can step forward and walk through the fierces of storms...to be that person to stand proud and strong...
this is the song of my heart. The cries as I continue to press on forward getting stabbed left and right. Get attacked by the most ferocious of beasts, the meaningless words, and the desperate cries of the sharpest tongues at their best...spilling their every bit of energy and "luscious" words of wisdom.
And thus, I sit up, lift my head up high and continue to walk through the thorny fields of excellence...passing through the vineyards of torment, yet I know that they are mere statues, pillars standing firm as a remnant of those tests of faith, they sit still watching me go and I continue on forward and not looking back.
***
Another note I had accidentally saved on the drafts a long while ago. So here it is...sometimes it does some good to the heart to release the inner bitterness....we are all human beings and for as much as anyone seeks to be a perfect person, we have this part of our heart that needs to be unleashed....set it free...and don't allow for build up.....
peace everyone.
It is indeed a test of faith having to constantly put up with the negativity behind you. Sometimes I feel as though I am drowning, the mountains become higher and fierceful with so many obstacles. The currents become so strong I can hardly manage to move or attempt to swim across. Sometimes, giving up sounds bitter sweet than to have to carry a load that does not belong to me. Or does it? Is this my greatest test?
So, then how to I manage all of this? Above all things, above all this, there is someone out there in the heavens above patiently thinking of me and prepairing the most beautiful gifts any woman could ask for.....
Oh, I must be patient and wait for all you have for me. I am running out of energy, I feel ready to surrender, I want to escape so badly the trecherous ways of this life. Lord will you hear the cry of my heart? Will you bring me the understanding and wisdom to become that woman of excellence, to be a sister to those in need, to be a mother to the motherless who so passionately sit and wait to feel that love?
Just as the songs says, "who am I?" what purpose do I serve here and how do I continue with such low doze of energy? I need a fresh renewal, a new me, a new person that can step forward and walk through the fierces of storms...to be that person to stand proud and strong...
this is the song of my heart. The cries as I continue to press on forward getting stabbed left and right. Get attacked by the most ferocious of beasts, the meaningless words, and the desperate cries of the sharpest tongues at their best...spilling their every bit of energy and "luscious" words of wisdom.
And thus, I sit up, lift my head up high and continue to walk through the thorny fields of excellence...passing through the vineyards of torment, yet I know that they are mere statues, pillars standing firm as a remnant of those tests of faith, they sit still watching me go and I continue on forward and not looking back.
***
Another note I had accidentally saved on the drafts a long while ago. So here it is...sometimes it does some good to the heart to release the inner bitterness....we are all human beings and for as much as anyone seeks to be a perfect person, we have this part of our heart that needs to be unleashed....set it free...and don't allow for build up.....
peace everyone.
Foreigner wearing the Wrong Shoes
"We are all foreigners of this world, our life is a temporary life here on earth...we strive to survive, we acquire our worldly acomplishments, yet it will all come to past...."
I am now 27 years old, soon to be 28. For the last 14years or so, I have been a stranger, a foreigner of this land, I am stranger of culture, language, and beliefs. I am that individual like most foreigners of this Great Country - USA, I am just as much of a foreigner as anyone. However, I have spent most of my life adjusting and although I will never complete the cycle of conformity and be 100% accepted by those "judgementally" folks out there; I continue to strive forward.
Lately there have been series of events taking place of acts of discrimination, haunting looks, vicious words of anger and poisenous stabs towards those of us that regardless of inmigration status, will forever carry that label in our foreheads. The "Promised Land" to those who cross the border has turned the honey into a bitter tar of death, judment, and a hunt for survival all over again. The Land founded by inmigrants even those who traveled by the Mayflower and landed in this Northern territory were as we are today, inmigrants. They came and took the land of the true American Natives...all those wars, the deaths, the tears shed....yet it is beginning to repeat itself.
I know most will not jump into agreement, neither am I looking to have anyone agree in any way shape or form. We are the land of Christianity, we are those who call ourselves true followers, yet when one sheep falls short, I see no one running out to try and help this sheep out. We are always trying to be so politically correct that we forget the true meaning of Following our Father.
It is very ironic how a native of an inmigrant signs into Law a law that is designed to potentially corral all undocumented workers out of the fields, out of the construction sites, out of the dirty labors that no one else wants to do. There is a HIKE of unemployemnt, however, no one is running out to get the jobs that those foreigners are willing to do...Sure, agriculture giants are at fault for hiring low wage workers.
Let's just say, I am highly disappointed that because I am different in every way than a tradicional "North American" I am now facing racial profiling. Regardless of my education, my "status," my apparance will be sufficient in order for an officer of the law to question me.
I am disappointed that no matter what we do, how much contribution we give our goverment, we are still at the lowest of the pit. Mind you, I know nothing about politics, but enough to have a common sense that we are driving our economy down, we are not getting our money back because of all the drug lords in Mexico, central, and South America are pulling the money down....
This life is a temporary life, our life is barrowed for us to show our hearts for others, to reach out and help the helpless...to provide comfort, shelter, feed those less fortunate than us. We condem those who "reproduce" regardless if they have the means to provide for their families or not, we condem those and take the frustration as an obligation to do something about it...we also condem those who actually work hard in order to sustain those in their family. We sit back and talk about ways that "those" people should follow, that they should have more education, we sit back and talk....yet we don't take initiative to take a step forward and say, I will be that difference, I will help this community out and give them a piece of my knowledge....we simply sit back, relax, and let other's put their grain of sand and hope that it counts for all.
********
I apologize if anyone disagrees, feels offended, or simply thinks I have no idea of what I am talking about. Take the time to ask me and I will share. I have lived through it all. And yet, I sit here and continue to experience every bit of that in a different time, culture, and from those whom I would've never thought I would receive such treatment.
I mean no harm, and I am simply speaking out my disapointed heart. I had been meaning to finish this draft, however, I know I will not get any further. SO here is what I have so far....I might return and talk abit more, however, I have no energy nor time to complete this.
God bless everyone, God Bless this Country for we need it....we are the GIANTS of this world, yet we are falling...
I am now 27 years old, soon to be 28. For the last 14years or so, I have been a stranger, a foreigner of this land, I am stranger of culture, language, and beliefs. I am that individual like most foreigners of this Great Country - USA, I am just as much of a foreigner as anyone. However, I have spent most of my life adjusting and although I will never complete the cycle of conformity and be 100% accepted by those "judgementally" folks out there; I continue to strive forward.
Lately there have been series of events taking place of acts of discrimination, haunting looks, vicious words of anger and poisenous stabs towards those of us that regardless of inmigration status, will forever carry that label in our foreheads. The "Promised Land" to those who cross the border has turned the honey into a bitter tar of death, judment, and a hunt for survival all over again. The Land founded by inmigrants even those who traveled by the Mayflower and landed in this Northern territory were as we are today, inmigrants. They came and took the land of the true American Natives...all those wars, the deaths, the tears shed....yet it is beginning to repeat itself.
I know most will not jump into agreement, neither am I looking to have anyone agree in any way shape or form. We are the land of Christianity, we are those who call ourselves true followers, yet when one sheep falls short, I see no one running out to try and help this sheep out. We are always trying to be so politically correct that we forget the true meaning of Following our Father.
It is very ironic how a native of an inmigrant signs into Law a law that is designed to potentially corral all undocumented workers out of the fields, out of the construction sites, out of the dirty labors that no one else wants to do. There is a HIKE of unemployemnt, however, no one is running out to get the jobs that those foreigners are willing to do...Sure, agriculture giants are at fault for hiring low wage workers.
Let's just say, I am highly disappointed that because I am different in every way than a tradicional "North American" I am now facing racial profiling. Regardless of my education, my "status," my apparance will be sufficient in order for an officer of the law to question me.
I am disappointed that no matter what we do, how much contribution we give our goverment, we are still at the lowest of the pit. Mind you, I know nothing about politics, but enough to have a common sense that we are driving our economy down, we are not getting our money back because of all the drug lords in Mexico, central, and South America are pulling the money down....
This life is a temporary life, our life is barrowed for us to show our hearts for others, to reach out and help the helpless...to provide comfort, shelter, feed those less fortunate than us. We condem those who "reproduce" regardless if they have the means to provide for their families or not, we condem those and take the frustration as an obligation to do something about it...we also condem those who actually work hard in order to sustain those in their family. We sit back and talk about ways that "those" people should follow, that they should have more education, we sit back and talk....yet we don't take initiative to take a step forward and say, I will be that difference, I will help this community out and give them a piece of my knowledge....we simply sit back, relax, and let other's put their grain of sand and hope that it counts for all.
********
I apologize if anyone disagrees, feels offended, or simply thinks I have no idea of what I am talking about. Take the time to ask me and I will share. I have lived through it all. And yet, I sit here and continue to experience every bit of that in a different time, culture, and from those whom I would've never thought I would receive such treatment.
I mean no harm, and I am simply speaking out my disapointed heart. I had been meaning to finish this draft, however, I know I will not get any further. SO here is what I have so far....I might return and talk abit more, however, I have no energy nor time to complete this.
God bless everyone, God Bless this Country for we need it....we are the GIANTS of this world, yet we are falling...
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Countless Blessings
I have not written in a while, I have put this blog off for a few months now. So here I am, once again, attempting to recap what has been going on in this crazy world of mine.
I have long put this off, but here is what I have been meaning to write:
LUCAS - el muñeco mas amado (the most lovable baby)
Lucas was born October 12th, 2010. I have been too busy to mark this very important date! Our first nephew in the family, the cutest, most amazing baby ever! (I mean all babies are cute, but my Lucas is precious).
Day by day, I am reminded of his most amazing feautures: the radiant Fuentes smiles, the handsomeness of a little man (both from his dad and mom), the little-big head (GENEOUS), and that little spot right on top of his head: its a little white speck of hair that stands out more as he spends time in the sun fishing with his mom and dad. Yes, Lucas is the light of our eyes! The reason to come together and celebrate the joy of life, family, and purity!
I love him as if he were my own (then again, I love all babies as if they were mine). God has blessed us tremendously with him in our lives. More so, I think God has united our family and we have become closer to each other because of the love and affection we give to our Lucas.
I could not be happier! Well, we do have another nephew/niece on the way! Then again, we will wait upon God's blessing for that little life to become the center of attention as well.
There are actually no words to describe how much I love Lucas. I am the proudest Tia! ( I am sure I can claim that without my sisters or Allison's sister getting competitive on that :) Lucas is now 7months old, has two lower teeth, two upper teeth coming out (huge), and a molar...what?? seriously? Then in May 16th, he decides to say "dada!" He pulls his own weight to stand, he wakes up standing on his crib (so I am told)! Is it me or is this baby growing way too fast? He is using 9month old gear! What's wrong! hahaha.
The point, I am so proud of him for being such a smart baby, more so proud of my sister-in-law Allison who spends countless hours nurturing this baby to be and have this smart personality! He is so active, loves to smile and hardly ever "pouts"! My brother and Allison have him in swimming lessons - oh dear, what a cute little fish he makes! And when he splashes, let's out the cutest of screams, as if he were advancing victoriously in the swimming Olympics!
Lucas loves STRAWBERRIES!!! We spent mother's day at Boone Hall Plantation and he just enjoyed himself, and of course we all enjoyed him! See pics below.
I am soo thankful to God, my brother and his wife for giving us this piece of joy in our hearts, the love, the kindred spirited Lucas who illuminates our faces with gigles and smiles of all sorts. Thank you Lord. I love my nephew and will love on him for years and years to come.
And this is where the SHOCK comes in, it is may 25th, and this baby went from "DADA" to "ALL DONE!" yes, you did read correctly! Lucas, what's wrong with you? LOL! he is growing way too fast and I am not getting all that loving...jajajaa... I am soo proud of him for being so smart! And of course proud of my borther and his wife for the passion, dedication, and love they give him! That is why he is so smart! Not to mention he is the most spoiled baby ever! Has his grandpapi wraped around him, his Grandmami melts with love for him, and his Tios - just play with him like crazy! And then he has his Tias...boy, oh, boy, he has several Tias to run to for SUGAR, veggies (?), and hyperness!!! (that would be me ;-)
All in all, this baby is one of my countless blessings.
MOTHERS - And here I present you with several mom's: birth, love, nurishment, compassion, and accountability.....
God has blessed me with the gift of a mother naturally within me - I have those emotions, the love, the kindness within to give unconditional love to any kid...one day I will be that guiding light to a child who needs healing through love....
Where did I learn all that? God provided me with several mother's throughout my life. Yes, I am sure some of you believe in just 1 mother, I have had several. Where are they now? They have become me...
My mother of birth - she was one tough nut to crack. Yes, God gave mea mother who despite the hardships of life, did all she could to provide for her kids, to give her everything, to put aside her life and let her blood flow for ours...although she made the ultimate sacrifice to come to the USA and left us motherless, we never ever were alone...first off God was there watching over us, then HE placed our Angel Papa Chico. Later on, my second mother showed up in my life...Mama Cata...My birth mother made the ultimate sacrife that no mother should ever have to do....doing what she did, going through what she did...could not mention it would be too surreal for anyone to understand...including me....she did all that and more....what bravery, what a mother....I admire that strength...that power, that determination and strength to set aside her personal life, her personal emotions to seek out what was best for us.....
Mother of Love - for every stage of life, we loose something, we gain something greater. We simply have to be willing to accept that change and grow with the seasons of life and flow with that current. Mama Cati (mama Catocha), she became my second mother to me and my siblings. God placed her there to be that fortress, that angel to keep us warm on cold nights...she was there to restore that love and care for us in part of the absense of our mother. Slowly you will learn more and more about these seasons of our lives. More so I write this because Lucas one day he will want to know...and if one day I am blessed with a baby, he/she will want to know the roots of his/her mom and family. I could go on and on..but slowly you will learn this from me..
Mother of Nurishment - This is our mother once we arrived in the USA. our Puerto Rican mother, the woman who despite our hard heads put up with us and gave us her love...treated us as her kids and nourished our minds with discipline, education, kept us in line all through school - college...and the now... she became that mother at that/this stage of life. Although sometimes it is hard to keep up with so many mothers, I am still blessed to have all of them as part of my life....
Mother of Compassion/Accountability - this one is hard...hard to wrap up how from nothingness, became everything. She was my mother role, a friend, and a sister all in one. A friend whom I came to and shared my "guy interests to," the one who spent countless hours awake waiting for me to be home from a night of movies and friends...the mom who woke up at 2am and drove across all of Charleston to pick my friends and me after being left stranded by "SCORCHY" (my car) in the middle of Hwy 17 in Mount Pleasant. Yes, she is my mother of compassion and accountability...although no longer in my life, God knows she is still as much part of my life as ever will be...I will respect her, love her, and will continue to pray for her and her stages of life.....a love that regarless of what happened in between....will remain alive in my heart...yes Elizabeth, I do love you like the mother, sister, and friend you were then...thank you for that!
So see here, I'm awarded mother's for every stage of my life...right now, I am an orphan...or perhaps I am becoming that mother figure to someone and am no longer needing a mother to look after me....God has blessed me countlessly with such love, such faithfullness from those around me....and thus I am the person I am today....(although at times I don't feel like myself)....but here I am, slowly becoming that someone...that mother figure to someone out there....maybe that someone is searching for me? Then again, I feel as though I already have been that mother....when our mom left, my youngest siblings needed me,when we lived with Mama Cati I was like her in every way, when we got to the USA, my step-sisters needed me, when I moved in with Elizabeth, her girls needed me....so do we call it even? Not quite yet.....I know God has more in store....
There, God's countless blessings just seem to put off all that negativity that has been around me lately. Yes, I am not perfect, my world is not perfect. I don't have all of the goodies (materialistic items), don't have the luxuries of this vain world, but I have the greatest gifts...a peace within of abundant love, compassion given and inherited through the different stages of my life. The love of my husband who continually reminds me that it is ok to be human and to make mistakes, to be tough and get up...it is a tough road we are traveling, but together and with God's help, we will overcome these trials and tribulations. And so, I rest my case....the abundance of my blessings satisfy and overpower the negativity within those around me.
Thanks to you my Lord for giving me such a patient heart! I will press on and continued pushing forward to become that woman of excellence...earning my rewards...and accomplishing the requirements needed to survive daily on this harsh world of mine.....
I have long put this off, but here is what I have been meaning to write:
LUCAS - el muñeco mas amado (the most lovable baby)
Lucas was born October 12th, 2010. I have been too busy to mark this very important date! Our first nephew in the family, the cutest, most amazing baby ever! (I mean all babies are cute, but my Lucas is precious).
Day by day, I am reminded of his most amazing feautures: the radiant Fuentes smiles, the handsomeness of a little man (both from his dad and mom), the little-big head (GENEOUS), and that little spot right on top of his head: its a little white speck of hair that stands out more as he spends time in the sun fishing with his mom and dad. Yes, Lucas is the light of our eyes! The reason to come together and celebrate the joy of life, family, and purity!
I love him as if he were my own (then again, I love all babies as if they were mine). God has blessed us tremendously with him in our lives. More so, I think God has united our family and we have become closer to each other because of the love and affection we give to our Lucas.
I could not be happier! Well, we do have another nephew/niece on the way! Then again, we will wait upon God's blessing for that little life to become the center of attention as well.
There are actually no words to describe how much I love Lucas. I am the proudest Tia! ( I am sure I can claim that without my sisters or Allison's sister getting competitive on that :) Lucas is now 7months old, has two lower teeth, two upper teeth coming out (huge), and a molar...what?? seriously? Then in May 16th, he decides to say "dada!" He pulls his own weight to stand, he wakes up standing on his crib (so I am told)! Is it me or is this baby growing way too fast? He is using 9month old gear! What's wrong! hahaha.
The point, I am so proud of him for being such a smart baby, more so proud of my sister-in-law Allison who spends countless hours nurturing this baby to be and have this smart personality! He is so active, loves to smile and hardly ever "pouts"! My brother and Allison have him in swimming lessons - oh dear, what a cute little fish he makes! And when he splashes, let's out the cutest of screams, as if he were advancing victoriously in the swimming Olympics!
Lucas loves STRAWBERRIES!!! We spent mother's day at Boone Hall Plantation and he just enjoyed himself, and of course we all enjoyed him! See pics below.
I am soo thankful to God, my brother and his wife for giving us this piece of joy in our hearts, the love, the kindred spirited Lucas who illuminates our faces with gigles and smiles of all sorts. Thank you Lord. I love my nephew and will love on him for years and years to come.
And this is where the SHOCK comes in, it is may 25th, and this baby went from "DADA" to "ALL DONE!" yes, you did read correctly! Lucas, what's wrong with you? LOL! he is growing way too fast and I am not getting all that loving...jajajaa... I am soo proud of him for being so smart! And of course proud of my borther and his wife for the passion, dedication, and love they give him! That is why he is so smart! Not to mention he is the most spoiled baby ever! Has his grandpapi wraped around him, his Grandmami melts with love for him, and his Tios - just play with him like crazy! And then he has his Tias...boy, oh, boy, he has several Tias to run to for SUGAR, veggies (?), and hyperness!!! (that would be me ;-)
All in all, this baby is one of my countless blessings.
MOTHERS - And here I present you with several mom's: birth, love, nurishment, compassion, and accountability.....
God has blessed me with the gift of a mother naturally within me - I have those emotions, the love, the kindness within to give unconditional love to any kid...one day I will be that guiding light to a child who needs healing through love....
Where did I learn all that? God provided me with several mother's throughout my life. Yes, I am sure some of you believe in just 1 mother, I have had several. Where are they now? They have become me...
My mother of birth - she was one tough nut to crack. Yes, God gave mea mother who despite the hardships of life, did all she could to provide for her kids, to give her everything, to put aside her life and let her blood flow for ours...although she made the ultimate sacrifice to come to the USA and left us motherless, we never ever were alone...first off God was there watching over us, then HE placed our Angel Papa Chico. Later on, my second mother showed up in my life...Mama Cata...My birth mother made the ultimate sacrife that no mother should ever have to do....doing what she did, going through what she did...could not mention it would be too surreal for anyone to understand...including me....she did all that and more....what bravery, what a mother....I admire that strength...that power, that determination and strength to set aside her personal life, her personal emotions to seek out what was best for us.....
Mother of Love - for every stage of life, we loose something, we gain something greater. We simply have to be willing to accept that change and grow with the seasons of life and flow with that current. Mama Cati (mama Catocha), she became my second mother to me and my siblings. God placed her there to be that fortress, that angel to keep us warm on cold nights...she was there to restore that love and care for us in part of the absense of our mother. Slowly you will learn more and more about these seasons of our lives. More so I write this because Lucas one day he will want to know...and if one day I am blessed with a baby, he/she will want to know the roots of his/her mom and family. I could go on and on..but slowly you will learn this from me..
Mother of Nurishment - This is our mother once we arrived in the USA. our Puerto Rican mother, the woman who despite our hard heads put up with us and gave us her love...treated us as her kids and nourished our minds with discipline, education, kept us in line all through school - college...and the now... she became that mother at that/this stage of life. Although sometimes it is hard to keep up with so many mothers, I am still blessed to have all of them as part of my life....
Mother of Compassion/Accountability - this one is hard...hard to wrap up how from nothingness, became everything. She was my mother role, a friend, and a sister all in one. A friend whom I came to and shared my "guy interests to," the one who spent countless hours awake waiting for me to be home from a night of movies and friends...the mom who woke up at 2am and drove across all of Charleston to pick my friends and me after being left stranded by "SCORCHY" (my car) in the middle of Hwy 17 in Mount Pleasant. Yes, she is my mother of compassion and accountability...although no longer in my life, God knows she is still as much part of my life as ever will be...I will respect her, love her, and will continue to pray for her and her stages of life.....a love that regarless of what happened in between....will remain alive in my heart...yes Elizabeth, I do love you like the mother, sister, and friend you were then...thank you for that!
So see here, I'm awarded mother's for every stage of my life...right now, I am an orphan...or perhaps I am becoming that mother figure to someone and am no longer needing a mother to look after me....God has blessed me countlessly with such love, such faithfullness from those around me....and thus I am the person I am today....(although at times I don't feel like myself)....but here I am, slowly becoming that someone...that mother figure to someone out there....maybe that someone is searching for me? Then again, I feel as though I already have been that mother....when our mom left, my youngest siblings needed me,when we lived with Mama Cati I was like her in every way, when we got to the USA, my step-sisters needed me, when I moved in with Elizabeth, her girls needed me....so do we call it even? Not quite yet.....I know God has more in store....
There, God's countless blessings just seem to put off all that negativity that has been around me lately. Yes, I am not perfect, my world is not perfect. I don't have all of the goodies (materialistic items), don't have the luxuries of this vain world, but I have the greatest gifts...a peace within of abundant love, compassion given and inherited through the different stages of my life. The love of my husband who continually reminds me that it is ok to be human and to make mistakes, to be tough and get up...it is a tough road we are traveling, but together and with God's help, we will overcome these trials and tribulations. And so, I rest my case....the abundance of my blessings satisfy and overpower the negativity within those around me.
Thanks to you my Lord for giving me such a patient heart! I will press on and continued pushing forward to become that woman of excellence...earning my rewards...and accomplishing the requirements needed to survive daily on this harsh world of mine.....
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| Lucas, ready for strawberries |
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| Destroying those strawberries :) |
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| Normal smiles from Lucas!! Mom and Daddy! |
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Gasping for Air
"Slowly the pulse weakened, she grew faint...fraile...on the verge of fainting...light became darkness and the voices faded away...."
Everyone has a passion of their own, people identify with their football teams, basketball, some naturalists with mountains, others with rivers or plainly the out doors. I identify with soccer. It's a passion to feel the adrenaline rush, the emotion of getting the ball in complete control, making the right moves, calibrating the strength and force used to send the ball across the field and scoring a GOAL. That's what get's me going and whatever negativity lies within, tends to make its way out once I set foot on that green field-all perfectly lined with fresh paint!
The scent of the grass, the paint, and seeing the soccer ball rest in the middle of the field drives the blood in my vains at high speed. That's what I LOVE. To take out whatever negativity attempted to infiltrate into my system, to invade my mind, soul, and well-being and leave it there in that field. I love to reject it with a hard kick and into the NET.
IT does not matter the circumstances, the voices that speak of vile terms, the venom spilled over me...it matters none. Everything is left there on that field, to take out whatever stress has invaded me or whatever has come my way. I play to relieve those emotions, to detoxicate my well-being...it's my haven, my world of "Solitude." It is in that place where my mind goes blank and resets into soccer mode and my competitive self comes out.
Sure this makes absolutely no sense to some, to me this is my Yoga! The source and strength to look forward to! I may not have the skills, the moves, or the speed, but I have the passion within. I also identify myself not with the greatest soccer player: Messi nor Forlan, but rather with Caseres: he's a maniac, can't deliver the ball, but does not give up on a lost ball! I don't loose sight of my objective: having that ball in my control, neither does Caseres.
This is definately the most random note ever, however, I know that many out there could use a little motivation to dig inside themselves and find that passion. To get out of being a couch potatoe and do something active, to move, and be an example to others. I love to be active, proactiv, and using my abilities to better myself and perhaps along the way grab a few folks with me.
So why the random quote above? It is because I get so competitive that often I drive myself too hard and forget that I am only human and have my limits. Yes, I have blacked out before during soccer "practices" not a good feeling, but who can deny that having that adrenaline rush doesn't feel good! lol.
LET's MOVE AMERICA! ps. personal pet-peeve: all the fast food places everywhere and everyone indulging very glutenously over such foods. Drives me insane and the thought makes me gag. :/
Everyone has a passion of their own, people identify with their football teams, basketball, some naturalists with mountains, others with rivers or plainly the out doors. I identify with soccer. It's a passion to feel the adrenaline rush, the emotion of getting the ball in complete control, making the right moves, calibrating the strength and force used to send the ball across the field and scoring a GOAL. That's what get's me going and whatever negativity lies within, tends to make its way out once I set foot on that green field-all perfectly lined with fresh paint!
The scent of the grass, the paint, and seeing the soccer ball rest in the middle of the field drives the blood in my vains at high speed. That's what I LOVE. To take out whatever negativity attempted to infiltrate into my system, to invade my mind, soul, and well-being and leave it there in that field. I love to reject it with a hard kick and into the NET.
IT does not matter the circumstances, the voices that speak of vile terms, the venom spilled over me...it matters none. Everything is left there on that field, to take out whatever stress has invaded me or whatever has come my way. I play to relieve those emotions, to detoxicate my well-being...it's my haven, my world of "Solitude." It is in that place where my mind goes blank and resets into soccer mode and my competitive self comes out.
Sure this makes absolutely no sense to some, to me this is my Yoga! The source and strength to look forward to! I may not have the skills, the moves, or the speed, but I have the passion within. I also identify myself not with the greatest soccer player: Messi nor Forlan, but rather with Caseres: he's a maniac, can't deliver the ball, but does not give up on a lost ball! I don't loose sight of my objective: having that ball in my control, neither does Caseres.
This is definately the most random note ever, however, I know that many out there could use a little motivation to dig inside themselves and find that passion. To get out of being a couch potatoe and do something active, to move, and be an example to others. I love to be active, proactiv, and using my abilities to better myself and perhaps along the way grab a few folks with me.
So why the random quote above? It is because I get so competitive that often I drive myself too hard and forget that I am only human and have my limits. Yes, I have blacked out before during soccer "practices" not a good feeling, but who can deny that having that adrenaline rush doesn't feel good! lol.
LET's MOVE AMERICA! ps. personal pet-peeve: all the fast food places everywhere and everyone indulging very glutenously over such foods. Drives me insane and the thought makes me gag. :/
Friday, February 4, 2011
AFLOAT
"And I slowly closed my eyes, my mind ejecting into a world of peace...passing through the impressionate, delicate white curtain...as if walking through soft clouds; my mind got lost deep into the esence of tranquility..."
CAPTIVATED
Inspired by listening to Enya - Willows on the Water
I am swimming, in the slippery waters of life. With each passioniate stroke, my heart beats ever so excitedly knowing that I am closer to being with the lover of my soul. Slowly my arms make way, they reach for HIM.
Swimming at a slow pace...this here is my journey, one day, one night, like two separated lovers seeking to embrance each other...so fierce is the beating of my heart...We’ll meet once AGAIN...
I am swimming, past the breath taking willows leaning against the vivid currents of life, delicately caressing my face as I pass enroute to meet my lover.
The currents begin to get fierce; the waters muddy, there are many obstacles along the way, stronger are my desires, my needs to emerge to finally meet HIM. Not giving up, I struggle to keep A FlOAT. Pushing aside the debris, overcoming the cold shivers running down my spine, I fight the battle of conquest.
My Dream, my hope, my desire is to stay on this trail, to keep fighting the good fight, to eventually reach the calm soothing crystal waters...is this just the beginning or am I nearing the end? Does everything follow this one direction, or is there a detour waiting ahead?
Just keep swimming, just keep your head afloat, breathe, and don’t loose sight of that faint bright star...ever so distant, but there’s still hope...there’s one way...keep your eyes fixed on that guiding light...
Adrift I go....carried by the strength of the current....taking hold of positive spirits... when all hell breaks loose, breathe, call out to HIM and never give up on any battles of faith....Hold onto the floating logs for support...they will hold you...they will keep you afloat for just a little while. Just remember to keep your heart and sight on HIM...
Written: Lunch break, Friday, October 22, 2010
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
MINUTAS
"A brave heart will fight great battles, will learn to stand and continue to push forward when the nature of life brings it down...a brave heart, will work hole-heartedly and sustain itself...no matter what tests of faith knock at its door..."
MINUTAS On the Weekends
Last night I was thinking of minutas, I have not written a story about this yet, but I will come back to this topic or reference it later on. What is a Minuta?
Minutas are shaved ice with colorful sugar, sprikled with different topings, and or caramel. Mom used to make the best sweets to be poured on Minutas. She was a pro! Back in El Salvador, in Zacatecoluca, mom used to sell Minutas and other items at soccer games. As a little girl, there was nothing I loved more than to be there with her selling Minutas and helping her shave the ice.
Hot days were awesome to sit under a shady tree and relax the day away sipping from the sugary contents of the Minutas. Mom would make the syrup from Tamarindos (a type of seed), and once poured on the shaved ice, it froze for just a few seconds and then melted down to give the savoury taste of unity in the ice.
I want one, one of those we ate when we were kids and sat at the roots of the mango trees, played with other kids from the area, and ran freely just lost in our world of imaginations. I want a minuta, to bring back the refreshning touch of life into my soul, to wake me up to that world of laughter and silliness.
My favorite type of Minuta was the cafe con leche (coffee and milk). The ice we shaved was a huge block of ice as tall as me and probably even heavier...It was a perfect square and I stood on a little stool made of bricks and shaved the ice for my mom. I felt useful when I helped and earned myself some recognition to being a little helper.
Oh, the Minuta days! I miss heading to the market and buying the HUGE BLOCK OF ICE :)
I am feeling a bit melancholy and was driven back in time by some words that came into my mind: MINUTAS!
Somtime I will write more on this so you can get a full view into what it is and how it works. I provided some insightful information, however, there's more to it.
MINUTAS On the Weekends
Last night I was thinking of minutas, I have not written a story about this yet, but I will come back to this topic or reference it later on. What is a Minuta?
Minutas are shaved ice with colorful sugar, sprikled with different topings, and or caramel. Mom used to make the best sweets to be poured on Minutas. She was a pro! Back in El Salvador, in Zacatecoluca, mom used to sell Minutas and other items at soccer games. As a little girl, there was nothing I loved more than to be there with her selling Minutas and helping her shave the ice.
Hot days were awesome to sit under a shady tree and relax the day away sipping from the sugary contents of the Minutas. Mom would make the syrup from Tamarindos (a type of seed), and once poured on the shaved ice, it froze for just a few seconds and then melted down to give the savoury taste of unity in the ice.
I want one, one of those we ate when we were kids and sat at the roots of the mango trees, played with other kids from the area, and ran freely just lost in our world of imaginations. I want a minuta, to bring back the refreshning touch of life into my soul, to wake me up to that world of laughter and silliness.
My favorite type of Minuta was the cafe con leche (coffee and milk). The ice we shaved was a huge block of ice as tall as me and probably even heavier...It was a perfect square and I stood on a little stool made of bricks and shaved the ice for my mom. I felt useful when I helped and earned myself some recognition to being a little helper.
Oh, the Minuta days! I miss heading to the market and buying the HUGE BLOCK OF ICE :)
I am feeling a bit melancholy and was driven back in time by some words that came into my mind: MINUTAS!
Somtime I will write more on this so you can get a full view into what it is and how it works. I provided some insightful information, however, there's more to it.
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