REFLECCION DE UN AMOR PROFUNDO

En Esta vida, desde pequeños aprendemos a caminar, hablar, a no meter las manos en cosas que nos lastiman, y a como saber escuchar a nuestros padres.  Todo se aprende desde chico.  Hay ciertas cosas que nuestros padres nos prohiben, cosas que no nos permiten ni pensar en hacer. ¿Por que nos protejen tanto? Dicen que para protejernos y que es por nuestro bien. De igual manera encontramos esa pequeña voz muy profunda en nuestro ser que nos sigue metiendo muchas curiosidades y nos tenta para ver que tan fuerte somos los seres humanos o que tan deviles. Todo lo buscamos, pasamos por caminos muy dificiles, aveces intimidantes que pensamos que fallaremos nuestra prueba de fe, sinceridad, y confianza.  Pero no es asi.  Hay mucho mas en esta vida que cada corazon intenta y se esfuerza para conquistar y seguir el viaje de aventura y desafios de por vida.

Todo en esta vida tiene su motivo, su proposito por asi decir.  Las cosas no ocurren solo por ocurrir.  Las oportunidades no se presentan solas pero con cada manifestacion es una revelacion de enseñanza para ser personas mas fuertes, valientes, y ser una de esas personas que toma iniciativa y se arriesgan a ser los primeros en tomar la armadura y ser los lideres de esas grandes batallas llamadas dificultades de esta vida.  ¿Cuales son esas dificultades o requisitos de esta sociedad que nos estresan de tal manera que pareciera que este mundo es vivir solo para finjir tener vida? Esas pequeñas claves, o clavos por asi decirlo son esas responsabilidades: llegar a tiempo al trabajo, no faltar, el cumplir con todas las expectativas del hogar, de cumplir con todas las obligaciones asi sean las que la sociedad nos requiere o las que nosotros mismos nos proponemos.  Esas cosas llamadas meta, esas virtudes llamadas abilidades, esos son detalles que nuestra sobrevivencia nos pide que sigamos para completar todo una vida.  El dia a dia, minuto tras minuto se presentan esan responsabilidades, pruebas de fe, y ¿para que? Para hacer de cada persona una mejor! Para darnos la fuerza, para crear y generar una fortaleza, para hacer los simientos de nuestra vida mas fuerte y poder resister cualquier catastrofe.

Cada etapa de esta vida tiene muchas lecciones que aunque no queramos pasarlas, no hay como esquibarlas y dejar de aprender la leccion de sobrevivencia.

En mi corazon fue escrita la lectura y historia de una mujer que tendria que aprender a sobrevivir y luchar fuertemente sin darse por vencida.  Se que en esta vida las cosas suelen ser demaciado pesadas y poder cargar tanto peso en mis hombros es de por si un reto en si mismo.  Aveces me pregunto, ¿Sera que en realidad Dios me ama lo suficiente como para dejar que estas cosas me pasen? Tengo hoy por hoy la suficiente sabiduria para decir que esa pregunta la hacia equibocadamente.  Dios no permite, las cosas que nos pasan nos enseña a madurar, nos guia hacia adelante para aprender con el pasar de cada dia para enseñarles bien a nuestros hijos, a nuestros futuros.

¿Te preguntaras, de que habla? ¿Por que escribe todo esto?

Es por que sobre todas las cosas, sobre cada marca infeliz o cada sicatriz en nuestra alma reina lo que nadie te puede quitar: el amor.  El amor es lo mas bello, lo mas delicado, una emocion tan divina que no importa cuanto lo grites o lo escribas, no deja de existir en lo mas profundo de cada ser.

¿Que tipos de Amor? El verdadero amor a ti mismo.  Respetarte a ti mismo(a), valorarte, darte la prioridad de ser unica e indespensable. Cada individuo es unico y por mas que hoy por hoy se pueda clonar a una persona, jamas seran como la verdadera persona que fuistes tu.  Existe el amor entre familia que merece su sincero y unico espacio, existen el amor hacia las amistades un amor de sentirse como hermanos, y existe el amor unico entre pareja.  Un amor que se revela para completar ese vacio en tu corazon....por mas que lo niegue una persona, es inebitable, todos los seres humanos tienen un vacio en su alma, en su vida que solo se completa con una pareja que complimente todo lo que no sabe...

El amor es un gesto que recibimos en las entrañas de nuestras madres, algo que no importa cuales sean las circumstancias, no importa cuanto dolor, cuanto sufriemiento exista en esa mujer...al final de los 9 meses esa criaturita es un verdadero regalo de vida y amor.  Amor por que inocentemente esa pequeña vida hace desconocer toda desigualdad, descilucion, y hace olvidar cualquier problema presente.  Desde bebes aprendemos a ver el mundo a travez de los ojos de nuestros padres y aprendemos que las emociones, los gestos de amor suelen ser expresados en diferentes formas y dialectos.  El amor no se enseña, sino se genera en la profundidad de nuestro ser por que esa es una virtud que Dios nos otorgo un verdadero regalo de Dios.

En la realidad, todos pasan dificultad en expresar el amor, al recivirlo y al manifestarse no logramos entenderlo.  Muchas veces, pasan años antes de encontrar el verdadero desafio de amar y ser amados. Algo que nunca estamos preparados sicologicamente es como evitar heridas a nuestro corazon.  ¿Que tipos de heridas? Esas heridas llamadas deciluciones, ambiciones, y despechos.  El corazon, no el organo, sino el sentimiento....sufre con cada detalle perdido.  Al ser rechasado, al perder a un amor unico, al pasar por etapas de desiluciones.  Esos sentiminetos que el corazon clasifica como fracasos suelen sanar con el tiempo.

El tiempo lo sana todo, asi dicen los grandes sabios, pero honestamente, no siempre esta correctos con su filosofia.  Hay amores que jamas se olvidan.  Hay amores que dejan una marca muy profunda y no logran sanar con el tiempo.  ¿Se llama amor verdadero o tan solo una obsession? 

Dependiendo, si estas enamorado de esa persona y continuas en comunicacion y nunca se apago esa llama en tu corazon.  Esto debe de ser sentidos mutuamente, pero si eres de esas personas que dice amar por que crees que sientes algo sin sentirlo en realidad entonces no estas siendo sincero con tu corazon.  Tienes falsas esperanzas y vives metido(a) en esos sentimientos de un ayer que dejo de existir muchos años a tras.  ¿Es una persona capas de seguir amando despues de años sin contacto, sin afecto, sin nada de nada? Esa respuesta se las dejo a los que han pasado por esos momentos.  Hay personas que por interes dicen seguir enamorados por que ven los cambios de una persona y desen estar ahi con el/ella.  O capas son infeliz y desean nada mas interrumpir una familia feliz.  Cualquier sea el caso, hay amores que se guardan muy profundo y con el tiempo suelen ser un tesoro que jamas seran descubiertos.

En mi caso, honestamente puedo decir que estoy 100% enamorada de mi esposo.  En nuestras vidas hay mucho por lo que estar agradecidos, hacemos los sacrificios juntos, y hacemos lo impossible por la felicidad del uno al otro.  Si hay pruevas de fe, hay obstaculos y han habido pequeños tropezones, pero nada de gravedad como para dejar que nuestra vela deje de brillar.

Con cada etapa de la vida, nuestro ser crece mas y mas, vivimos en iguldad, aprendemos a leer el dialecto de amor del uno al otro. 
Los dejo con este pensamiento, ¿Que tipo de amor existe en ti hoy por hoy?

[Esta refleccion continuara muy pronto]

Canciones de Maná

"The songs captured the daily adventures, so vividly, as if they were different cameras filming from different angles, the songs grasped their feelings, their emotions...to later in life reveal their roots, their life struggles as a memory, an epic film of the 5 niños..."

Canciones del Corazon - Songs of the heart

Everyone has a song of their own. A song that summarizes the most memorable moments during childhood, youth, and adulthood.  The songs we choose to hold inside our hearts and minds create that perfect harmony along the story that if ever needs to be told, will bring forth such a fresh experience to the heart.  The heart has it's way to reach out to others and chant a song of purity, passion, and even anguish and negativity.  The song of the 5 niños, rests mostly on those lyrics sung by the group Maná, a rock and roll band from Mexico.

Everyone has a song of that they can relate to, a song that their heart sings, and spills those memories of the past..revealing them at the most appropriate time, when the heart needs a little encouragement.  As humans, we hold to a song that connects our current life to that of the past, takes a hold of you and moves back the hands of the clock to give you that piece of an enchanted life.  It is a magical moment, undescribable, yet so vivid and pure.

[I have my songs, yes, the songs that directed the life of struggle, the life of "Job" if you will.  When I hear the tune of the harmonica when it perfectly releases a melody without missing a note, my eyes line up perfectly to that distant point in the thin air...my mind travels to those days of glory and mischief.  It travels to that first time my heart held that song and chanted over and over the words.....]

[And it goes something like this: ]

There stood the thin almost bony little girl, so out of place with her blonde hair waving as the wind brushed against her, she stood there playing with her hair twisting the ends while her lips moved to the tune of Maná.  As if subconciously making a mental note that one day she would have to make reference to that very day and that very song.  She stood there, her eyes fixed to a point somewhere in time as if staring into the eyes of the future, her own eyes as an adult.

"Rayando El Sol" played the beat of the drums, the sound of the guitar was telling the heart to hold it tight.  Es mafacil llegar al sol que a tu corazon, me muero por ti, viviendo sin ti, y no aguanto, me duele tanto estar asi, rayando el Sol.... these words played over and over her head, Trapping every bit of those memories.  The cameras of her eyes and those eyes from the future were capturing her emotions, that intense moment of silence....capturing every detail of her sorrounding, her heart beat with the sound of the music telling her to visualize and transport those images to that individual staring back at her.

 The house overlooked this small canyon (Barranco), when it rained it flooded, often it became their playground.  The trees leaning over the canyon were their forts, their imagination grew wild and they used every bit of their available resources to entertain themselves. It was an epic moment. The niños played so freely, so innocently they moved about the branches...their minds occupied by the moment's mysterious mischiefs.  The land had several weak points of erosion.  Slowly the erosion would've reached the house, however, they were raptured before they learned what became of the house.

The front of the house had this perfect clearing from when all 5 kids would play, and through it ran the dirt road that was frequented by the cows, the horses, and the bulls Papa Chico used for his daily transportation and that of the Carreta.  That dirt road had a guayaba tree right next to the canyon, and as it kept running down, had Tiguilote trees, and next to it was the well the kids had artistically build with their own hands.

They lived there in that place in those days, as if carefully placed by a mysterious crafter who was fully aware that those moments would become a positive reinforcer in their future lives.  Oh, so magistic were the days, their adventures, their pain, their hunger for life, and their thirst for the unknown.  It was if the writter of their story knew perfectly well that their minds would connect.  The mind of the abandoned memory and that of the present soul who desperately sought to re-connect and live those days of glory.

Rayando el Sol translates to "scratching the sun," meaning that it is easier to reach the sun than to get those old joyeous emotions back.  The past is a mere memory, an episode of life that although everyone craves it, they get lost in the gigantous mouth of the wordly deeds and sinful ways of this life...forgetting and setting aside the true meaning of life.  As the song claims, you can look up and feel the sun warming your skin and giving you that moment of peace...it is often easier to live the now and ignore what we have learned, what we are made off. 

The 5 niños learned their life, they lived those moments holding tight to each other.  Staring at the sun and loosing their vision into the future...they lived that moment.  It all happened very fast, they were alone however, there came that day... they were taken from their roots and misplaced in a world of perdition...in a world of uncomprehended methods of life.  It was for their own good so the story told.... and indeed it has been for their own good. 

It was an act of methamorphosis, a complete transformation from a life of poverty, freedom, high spirited living to a monotone ways of life.  Where everything was different: the buzzing of the cars fumigating the fresh air with their contaminating smoke, the sound of busy people rushing to live life and forgetting about the most important aspect of life - living a day, a time worry free.  Everywhere the niños looked, where ever they went, they were confronted by the ethnocentric beings of this culture, accussing them of vile things, considering them outsiders, invaders of their perfectly round egocentrical almost selfish world.

The songs rings true, Rayando el Sol - and there she stands next to a palm tree gazing back in time staring straight into that sunset and slowly adding years to her life.  Much older now, she still sits back to gaze to that horizon the environment creates when the sun goes down and connects to those of the little blond haired girl staring back at her.

And thus their world connect through the time machine of the epic sun set, driving their world much closer than what could be imagined. 

"And so, her heart felt fear, yet it was contempt to know that her world had drastically changed and admired the goodness and puerest of glorious deeds in her life...so she lost her reality into the majestic sunset...gazing into the horizon.."

When Something Ends

"...when something ends in this life, it leaves an empty space in our hearts, a void, a gap that is not easily filled..."

Our human heart can only take so much pressure, so much pain...with each stab, it draws weak.
We go through different episodes of "loses" and each affects our inner beings in different ways.  The loss of a love one, death, losing a friendship, losing a battle in a relationship, etc...these are examples of voids the heart expiriences.

My heart has yet again taken another stab.  Today I have lost a person whom I grew to love, regardless of the difficulties of life, she was as much part of my life as anyone I can remember from my childhood. 

My aunt, my auncle's wife has passed today from kidney failure.  She opened her arms and heart, and the doors of her home to us way back when kids.  Will not elaborate on details, but eventually if you haven't read, you should have a clear picture by now...she was a pillar in my life and because I admired what she did and how she gave unconditional love, I sought to be just like her and the women in my life that inspired me to be a giver with no expectations.

God, please bless the family that is so far away, keep them in your loving care and give them what we can only wish them. The comfort to move forward and trust in Your hands that this too shall come to pass.

It is difficult to loose a love one, much more when you know it is in a death situation.  To all my family, we are so close, yet soo far away.  I love all of you and I am praying...keeping you all in my thoughts.

Words cannot express the deepest of pain of a human heart, they come close to resembling, but will never paint the perfect picture....

God Bless you Maria! You were such a great person and for all you did in our lives, I thank the LORD that you were part of the pillar in my life, that I learned from you to be responsible, to mature, and to always take initiatives.  I may have never had an opportunity to show my deepest of gratitude because of the distance..in my heart those who contributed to making the kind of woman I am today hold a special place, you are one of those people.  Thank you LORD for putting this amazing person in my life and for giving me a reason to further be of Gratitude...I pray for her family, to be strong and to know that YOU ARE UNDER CONTROL.

Los amo mucho a todos y Dios sabe que pronto nos veremos otra vez.

"...de la tierra venimos y a la tierra volvemos....Life is a precious gift, given to learn, mature, and to grasp to the most important aspect of life: family...love, and never ending gratitude..."

UN SUSPIRO de Vida

"...su corazon empezo a resvalar, su alma aclamava por vida, su espiritu se rindio...entre la profundidad, ahi, muy lejos una luz brillo y inalo un ultimo suspiro...buscando esa vida..."


Tal parece que en esta vida aprendemos a vivir con lo que la sociedad nos pide y no con lo que nuestros corazones necesitan.  La belleza, la lujuria, la vanidad, tan solo son cosas de un par de minutos de satisfaccion...lo puro, lo divino, y verdadero es aquello que vive con nosotros...los recuerdos de aquellos momentos que nos impulsaron a tener lo que en el presente se vive...

Aprendemos a obtener sabiduria, a recivir y dar amor.  Aprendemos a que el corazon siente, y que el alma vive con cada respiro y suspiro de sueños inalcanzables.

Esta es su historia, de sacrificios, de su vida en el mundo del engaño, en un mundo de soledad y inseguridad....

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LA FORTALEZA y la INSEGURIDAD de Esa Fortaleza

Ella tan solo pedia amor, honestidad, sinceridad, y valor...

Donde se fueron aquellas iluciones y esperanzas de vida repleta de amor, con iluciones de crecer una familia? donde se fueron aquellos momentos de brillo, de paz y tranquilidad, de risas y alregria?

Se acerca la Navidad, pero su corazon esta mas frio que nunca.  Su alma dejo de cantar los canticos de felicidad, dejo que las tormentas de hielo, granizo, y furia invadieran su ser.  Como dice la cancion de Mana, no ha parado de llover...sus ojos han creado un rio con fuertes corrientes y su nibel continua creciendo con cada lagrima derramada.

Sus sueños han sido invadidos con llantos, con insomio...pero tan solo suspira...como si gritara a los cuatro vientos que le otorgaran un pedacito de su vida. 

Ella emprendio su viaje, preparandose sobre un velero de mucha fortaleza...firme, grande y equipado para llevarla atravezar los oceanos de prueba...el velero era su vida, su amor, su fortaleza....aunque sin mapa, ella penso llegar a su destino sobre el velero y todos sus tripulantes...

Las mareas estan mas fuertes, el mar no deja de combatir los vientos, los seres vivientes y los tripulantes se alejan y la dejan sola para luchar contra las fuertes olas que la empujan aun mas lejos hacia una soledad inesperada. Ella cayo al mar, perdida..sola...y nadie se dio cuenta de su aucencia... Ahi, queda ella, cubierta de las emociones de todo aquello que algun dia penso amar. Que con todo lo que ella se esforzo, con mucho que ella trabajo para preparar ese velero, no le sirvio de mucho...las tormentas fueron mas grandes y feroces.  Ahora solo queda ese sentimiento de que estubo segura en un tiempo, de que el Velero la supo llevar solo a un lugar adecuado y luego la dejo naufragada....en un abrir y cerrar de ojos, sus iluciones, sus aspiraciones fueron arrojadas a la pronfundidad de aquel mar. 

Y ahi quedo, esperando el rescate...en completa oscuridad...ella quedo ahogandose en su propio llanto, apunto de darse por vencida...pero espera...con esperanzas de que el Velero que la arrojo al mar, no la abandone por completo...

Y asi, lo que fue su gran sacrificio, solo la llevo a un mundo lejano, donde todo quedo fuera de su alcanze, su vida, su sueños, quedaron muy lejos...solo quedo esa virtud de sobre vivencia...para algun dia si rescadada, pueda levantarse y seguir adelante.

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Mujer, deja la anciedad, corre a tu torre vive, deja que tu principe azul, llegue, pero no esperes para siempre..deja que tu corazon viva y continue dando de lo mas profundo que es el bello amor que resalta por doquier.

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Su suspiro aclamaba vida...su vida gritaba por amor...por valor, y fuerzas para luchar contra las corrientes de aquel mar inestable, y luchar contra la oscuridad invasora...ahi quedo esperando...esperando que su voz fuera escuchada, que su ser fuera levantado de aquel frio eterno y que su vida fuera rescatada....



"...vive...ella penso...dandose asi misma el valor y fuerza para alcanzar aquella luz lejana...un sueño de vivir y amar eternamente...vive repitio...suspirando y gritandole a la oscuridad que ella era mas fuerte que la soledad en la cual la arropaban..vive...vive...vive..."


NOTA:
Esto es una historia sin comienzo, sin fin, sin ningun punto...es una narracion de un sueño...
PD. Les digo que hay cabeza para ser creativa :) Espero les guste.

RUN AWAY & SAVE YOUR LIFE

"Run Away..run away if you want to survive...."

OFF INTO THE MERCY of the UNKNOWN

It all began on a late evening, date, time, and day unknown...but it was late.  The five ninos seemed to come to a conclusion that it was time to run away. Their mind was made up, they light the "living" room with a CANDIL - a gas like item used to light the house, there they sat, motionless..no one uttered a word.  Eventually they talked to their Papa Chico of what their plans were, the one and only person they trusted at that time, he was the only one that knew what these witty hearts were up to...

It was 4:30am, and the older kids were up and ready, they chased around the chickens they had grown, one by one they were placed in the Canasta (basket), unaware of the actual consequences that this act would have on the chickens, they were placed there carefully however, blocking out the air out of the basket...

by 5am, they had waken the little ones, dressed them, fed them and off they walked...it was by 5:30am that they carefully walked the damped weedy road, they carefully walked up the dirt road and into the other side of their little town, where they would stand and wait for the Carros (transporting trucks-no buses passed by that area). 

Somewhat nervous, unsure of what was about to take place, they waited..patiently yet anxious that they would be discovered of their mischief, their mis-deeds and "wrong" doings.  There was no turning back, all 5 ninos were ready.  They stood there on that cool and crisp morning, until there in the distance appeared what was their life saving opportunity.  The truck had arrived.

Off they went one by one and onto the truck they climbed.  Off into the unknown.  Just like the Song from Real McCoy, Run Away, it was so that they were running away to set their hearts free and venture into a life of their own, in search for unity, peace, and some love that could soothe away that uncertainty felt in their hearts.  They felt joy mixed with some pain althought it was wrong, it felt so right to be doing such adventurous act.

They arrived at Zacatecoluca, to one of the bus stops where they would start their route from Zacatecoluca to San Miguel, an aproximate 6hour drive because of the frequent stops and bus changes.  The oldest sibling was around 11 or 12 years old, the youngest was only 3 or 4.

This is yet another one of those stories, another day in paradise.  The paradise where these kids learned on their own the lessons of survival. 

How did they get to the bus stop, with what money? and who was the adult overseeing over these kids and  their welfare at those times?

Bus #1, you could hear the crowded streets of the many travelers yelling and moving around.  Lots of people yelling out, "pupusas, tostadas, Queso con yuca, chicharones!!??" Yes, the merchants who made their living selling out and about on bus stops where everywhere.  And there as the five ninos sat all pilled in one of the seats, carefully looking after each other, no one misbehaved, yet they were a furtunate more so than the kid who leaped into the bus attempting to make his living singing a melody...a sad melody that rings to this day on the nightly dreams of these small travelers....a kid no more than 10yrs of age began to sing to get some kind of reward, food, water, or money....no of which the five ninos could help with. 

The busy passengers, the adults were mesmerized at how five kids were traveling alone, or so they thought.  Neither one of the kids would direct their convertions to strangers. They did not speak, they took the ride in silence absorbing the many sounds and savouring the many smells of different foods at different stops. 

"MANGOS!!!, sceamed a lady, AGUA de COCO (coconut juice) screamed another, so many were the baskets and great was their hunger...in their hearts, their satisfaction reamained in the fact that they were far now, with every mile the bus drove, the further their past would remain...uncertain of what the future held, they did not turn back.

And so, their hearts grasped the true colors of their roots, their veins erupted with the rivers of passion to pursue their true desires, at such a young age, yes, however, they began their independency alone, venturing and daring to venture out in a world a country that had lost all hope.  In deed it seems hard to believe that these kids were able to travel that far and alone because of the lack of security that existed in El Salvador.  The "civil war" that began in the early 80s had recently ended in 1992 and although the scar was fresh and the wound still blead, these kids held onto their faith and whatever it was that was driving their mind, their hearts, kept them safe...

As the ride continued, passing Rio Lempa, the thoughts began to emerge...was this the right decision, did or should they have done it differently perhaps announced it to another adult and share their vision?

The song began to play, Real McCoy, RUN AWAY, seems it was a very popular song then...it stuck in their head and it is one of those songs that kidnaps the heart, mind, and soul and takes them back into that bus and takes the ride over the long route of insecurity and uncertainty.

It seemed that the bus would never get to it's final destination...they arrived to a terminal where they had to change yet again the buses.  Each time they changed buses and it began it's trip to San Miguel, the song would play.. althought the kids could not understand the words of the song, in their head they chanted the words over and over again, until they had memorized it....the kids some of which were sleeping or at least the youngest ones, leaned their head against the window observing the volcanos in the distance...wondering if they could reach the top if they were to walk it in one day...their mind trailed off into the adventurous wonders of how marvelous a volcanoe seems to be...the mystery and ovewhelming power hidden right beneath that monstrous mountain.

You could see the coffee farms, the pineapple farms, fields and fields of different crops appeared at the foot of the volcanoes..  everything was so pure, yet there were the lives of those who worked hard to create what the passer bys saw from the exterior...it was so intoxicatingly beautiful.

Over the mountains and past the llanos (forrestry areas), the bus traveled....carrying the precious cargo that although unknown of the time, would reflect on those moments to recapture the blessings they obtained from those journeys. 

And so as the wheels kept turning, the sound of the loud motors and the suffocating heat from all the crowded passangers planted a seed of self discovery into the ninos who anxiously and almost with no hesitation appreciated every bit of that moment of that day and their adventure into a world of the unknown.

They were far and were running away from their security, their home, the place where their hearts would run freely...whether they would return or not, their journey, their voyaje had just began....they left the country unknowingly of what the future would hold infront of them.

Once they arrived to their final destination, they walked the rest of the way, to see their Mama Catocha, to be with her...such was her love and joy upon seeing the ninos that she threw herself all over them...although her expression demonstrated she was afraid yet relieved the kids were there safe...it was all in all a shock...

Greater was the schock of all to realize that the chickens had suffocated and not a single one managed to survive. 

And so, here is the grand story of five little adventurer's that regardless of their lack of source, they knew only where they wanted to be and were guided by that angel that God had placed next to them the entire time.  Not a single adult that saw them alone would dare ask or even disturb the tranquility of these little travelers...No one dared ask and no one disturbed such a peaceful reflection of these kids's expressions.

It was if they were on quest for freedom or as if they were leaving a world of dangers and disruption in their life, to some extend they were, however, it has yet to be discovered what these five ninos were up to. They were on a challenge to keep that Faith to keep living the life that they were blessed with.  Regardless of whatever difficulties, the lesson remains true to this day, they were the ones that liberated their hearts to never surrender upon the faintest or glamorous of worldy atractions.

Materials, money, come and go, however, the bond that was generated by these ninos was an cobweb of purity and loyalty to each other, the promise to love and support each other and be there for one another regardless of the many changes that life would bring forth... It was planted in their DNA, to be exactly that, the explorer's, the knowledge seekers...


...and the five ninos made it all the way....they had discovered that they were made for this type of explorations, that it was in their genetics to discover the world all on their own...they learned the lyrics of the song RUN AWAY by the time their 6hour trip had ended...and their hearts and minds had earned far greater respect and knowledge than anyone could imagine at such a young age.  They matured with each passing hour until they had a piece of wisdom and knowledge within them.

"...and so, their heart stored deep within a passion, a unity and love that would no one could ever invade..."

NOTE: picture of EL SALVADOR MAP to come sometime soon.  Also, NOTE: listen to the song RUN AWAY from Real McCoy to get an idea of what the song is about.

This story is yet to be edited some more - well, none of the others are edited, however, there might be more information that needs to be revealed, but all in due time.

FOREVER LOST - PERDIDA ETERNAMENTE

"Her heart stood still, motionless, waiting to be raptured and swept into a world of beauty, honesty, peace, and purest of joy..."


FOREVER LOST - PERDIDA ETERNAMENTE

It's 1st of December 2011, the beginning of the end of this year.  Seems too cliche to say that it was just Christmas was just yesterday! It is true however, seems things have gone by way too fast. 

Perhaps this is another one of those Christmas for me.  I am perhaps one of the most complex human beings you will ever meet...Christmas season brings me a cold feeling in my heart.  Seems that the Grinch tends to not only successfully steal my Christmas, but rather converts my heart into a cold slab of ice. 

Christmas long long long ago ended for me. If I look back in time, I can pin point that day, that era, that moment when Christmas ended...

It happened at midnight Christmas of 1994, when everyone went to sleep, alone I ran out side and began the ritual of a celebration of Christmas..poping the loudest of fireworks, lighting everything I could possibly burn, I ran left, right, left again over and over the front yard poping things and burning fireworks as fast as I could.  I thought that if our front yard had the most wrappers that perhaps that would mean were the best at poping the fireworks.

Alone, underneath the half moon way up high, I celebrated that Christmas....Alone I took on that challenge, listening all around me how many were lighting the fireworks.  The sound, the smell, the smoke floated everywhere, but I was too excited.  I did not care to be alone underneath the blanket of smoke and the danger of accidentally getting burn.  My heart was too excitedly hurrying, lining up the different fireworks.  All were lined up, small, big, small, big....until my basket was almsot empty....but there on the very end was the CYCLONE.

Yes, I had a fireworkd bigger than my own hands could wrap around.  It almost looked like an atomic bomb, so big, so dangerous! I was all excited and placed it on a far post near the house, right next to a light pole, and decided to set it off.  Without giving it much thought, I ran as fast as I could to seek shelter and hide.

Not fully realizing the force and power of the huge CYCLONE, I had set it on fire.  My ears were schocked, my heart paralyzed, it exploded so loudly as if it were a nuclear bomb, you could feel how the electro magnetic waves raised the very small hairs all over your body.  Not only did it scared me half to death, scared everyone and managed to break part of the light pole and our light cut off....

that was the last Christmas that I can remember where my heart was captured in time and everything was heavenly.  Where Christmas morning was not about the presents, but rather time to have a good breakfast, gather up all equipment to camp out all day at the beach... we would have rostiseri chicken on real charcoal, tamales of different kind, traditional christmas sandwiches....and we were all happy and satisfied.

Now Christmas here seems it is about the ornaments, the spending of tons of money in order to satisfy someone's "desires" not needs, and come to find out that it isn't enough....it is not about the love and affection of spending time together celebrating the birth of our Saviour, but rather a time to drain down all your savings and attempt to reconcile love and money on the artificial-materials of this world.

I am not sure how i could describe my feelings, however, I get very melancholy during the Christmas season. Perhaps that all might change once I have a kid.  In the mean time I continue to work on discovering what it is that makes me feel so sad during this time. 

Christmas somehow stayed behind me along everything else that I lost...somewhere along this life time I hope to recover some of what was taken from me. 

Perhaps my life is floating lamely on this world and I am stuck in my past, however, I am reviving those moments in order to find a meaning of what my experiences have been...to teach myself over and over that this life is not mine and that what I have lived is meant for someone to have a piece of knowledge about that character, that ME way back when. 

NOTE: Told you, I am a very COMPLEX person, perhaps to deep in thought....

"and so, her journey, her heart remain in the unknown, in a moment of reflection...waiting...waiting to discover the true meaning of what is happening all around her.."

AVENTURERA, SIN MAPA, SIN RUMBO

"como una estranjera, ella recorroio los caminos abandonados, las rutas despreciadas....todo lo que aquellos vieron imperfecto, ella, le encontro la perfeccion..."

VIVIR NO ES SIMPLEMENTE VIVIR

En la vida aprendemos a caminar los caminos olvidados, a atravezar lo menospreciado, a encontrar la belleza en el mundo de la soledad. 

Ella los camino... sola empezo una busqueda, una travesura de recorrer el mundo, de vivir todo aquello que la persona comun dejo atras.  Ella lo acepto. 

Dia a dia su vida fue creciendo, su fe aumento, su espiritu aventurero le trajo todo lo que nunca espero.  Si, con altos y bajos, pero de cada experiencia ella tomo esa prueba y lo aplico a todo lo que devia aprender. 

Siendo tan solo una nina, ella tenia la madurez, las abilidades de una joven adulta.  Se encontraba sola, en un mundo feroz, donde los lobos, los depredadores la amenasaban, ella siguio adelante.  Muchas fueron las pruebas de fe, muchas fueron las lagrimas que derramo...poco a poco ella se volvio una mujer. 

Despues de recorrer las montanas, despues de resvalar varias veces, ella logro sostenerse de lo que Dios le dio y se convertio en una mujer virtuosa. 

..................................
Toda su vida ella penso tenerlo todo...no conocia mas que los limites de donde vivia...en el campo, al lado de un rio, juntando los mangoes maduros, saboreando los jocotes verdes...ella penso ser tan feliz.  Dia a dia ella madrugaba, ordenando las vacas, y alimentando las gallinas...en su mente, ella visito las cuatro esquinas del mundo, se perdio en el mundo de las iluciones, sosteniendose de los rieles del Niagara Falls fuerte y mientras admiraba la belleza de lo grande que es... pero en la realidad sus manos mostraban el arduo trabajo...las ampoyas del sostener la pala....en su frente solo corria el sudor salado que parecia no tener fin.   En pleno sol trabajaba limpiando los surcos de maiz, ayudando a su abuelo quien era el hombre que le enseno todo.  A apreciar la belleza en el trabajo y de no depender de nadie mas que en sus propias manos.

Sus tardes consistian en apartar los terneros, en especial de la vaca llamada Cerveza, una vaca muy rabiosa y temida por todos. Pero era una tarea.  Nerviosa y un poco fatigada, ella sobre vivio el ataque feroz.

Pero nada era mejor que sonar bajo la luz de la luna, apoyar su cabeza en el estomago de un buey y sentir como cada organo se movia mientras sus ojos se pierdian en la belleza, en el circulo perfecto tan iluminoso, tan inalcanzable...no habia nada mejor que sentir la carisia del viento en una tarde calida en un mundo imperfecto pero perfecto en sus hojos.

Ella tan solo tenia 10 anos.  Era toda una mujer capturada en el alma de una nina.  Ahi, en esos tiempos fue donde una mujer virtuosa, con mucho mas que belleza se formo.  Donde sus manos, alcanzaron todo, y su mundo se abrio al mundo exterior....

En lo que fue un abrir y cerrar de ojos, su mundo murio.  Su mundo se perdio y fue dejado en el abandono.  Olvidado para siempre, para tan solo recordarlo con una simple melodia...el sonido de un silbato...tristemente resuena en su ADN, recorriendo los rios de furia y curiosidad.....en las profundidades de su corazon....

Ella lo perdio todo.  Fue raptada de su mundo de crystal, como si fuese una marioneta, ella cambio de escenario, y se encontro en un mundo perdido, donde su idioma parecia no ser aceptado.  Ella perdio todo cantico, tada voz, y quedo muda ante el jigante, el mundo del pavemento.

Hoy, no queda mas que una memoria, un suspiro, y un aroma de lo que fueron esos dias.  Cuando las gotas de lluvia caen sobre el suelo, sobre la tierra, levanta un aroma tan agradable... nada mas que TIERRA, el respirar, y sentir como ese aroma invade los pulmones es como tomar un reloj viejo y hacerlo jirar alrevez...asi ella logra conectarse con lo que fue su nines, con lo que Dios le dio para fortalecerze y hacer de ella una mujer con valores...con abilidades que no se encuentran....

El ayer sigue viviendo...ella lo tiene todo y sigue sonando con el pasar de los dias, con cada prueba de fe, ella se fortaleze mas....

.."entre la multitud camina, floreciendo con cada sonrisa, sembrando sus cultivos, creciendo sus raices, ella sigue en pie....apesar de las heridas, de las espinas que se le atravesaron en su camino, ella vive mas fuerte que nunca"


Algunas cosas que intento escribir en espanol.  Aveces algunas historietas suelen ser mejor en espanol.  Disculpen por la falta de vocabulario, gramatica y como dicen por ahi, ortografia, que al fin y al cabo esto es solo un medio de expresion ;-)