When Something Ends

"...when something ends in this life, it leaves an empty space in our hearts, a void, a gap that is not easily filled..."

Our human heart can only take so much pressure, so much pain...with each stab, it draws weak.
We go through different episodes of "loses" and each affects our inner beings in different ways.  The loss of a love one, death, losing a friendship, losing a battle in a relationship, etc...these are examples of voids the heart expiriences.

My heart has yet again taken another stab.  Today I have lost a person whom I grew to love, regardless of the difficulties of life, she was as much part of my life as anyone I can remember from my childhood. 

My aunt, my auncle's wife has passed today from kidney failure.  She opened her arms and heart, and the doors of her home to us way back when kids.  Will not elaborate on details, but eventually if you haven't read, you should have a clear picture by now...she was a pillar in my life and because I admired what she did and how she gave unconditional love, I sought to be just like her and the women in my life that inspired me to be a giver with no expectations.

God, please bless the family that is so far away, keep them in your loving care and give them what we can only wish them. The comfort to move forward and trust in Your hands that this too shall come to pass.

It is difficult to loose a love one, much more when you know it is in a death situation.  To all my family, we are so close, yet soo far away.  I love all of you and I am praying...keeping you all in my thoughts.

Words cannot express the deepest of pain of a human heart, they come close to resembling, but will never paint the perfect picture....

God Bless you Maria! You were such a great person and for all you did in our lives, I thank the LORD that you were part of the pillar in my life, that I learned from you to be responsible, to mature, and to always take initiatives.  I may have never had an opportunity to show my deepest of gratitude because of the distance..in my heart those who contributed to making the kind of woman I am today hold a special place, you are one of those people.  Thank you LORD for putting this amazing person in my life and for giving me a reason to further be of Gratitude...I pray for her family, to be strong and to know that YOU ARE UNDER CONTROL.

Los amo mucho a todos y Dios sabe que pronto nos veremos otra vez.

"...de la tierra venimos y a la tierra volvemos....Life is a precious gift, given to learn, mature, and to grasp to the most important aspect of life: family...love, and never ending gratitude..."

UN SUSPIRO de Vida

"...su corazon empezo a resvalar, su alma aclamava por vida, su espiritu se rindio...entre la profundidad, ahi, muy lejos una luz brillo y inalo un ultimo suspiro...buscando esa vida..."


Tal parece que en esta vida aprendemos a vivir con lo que la sociedad nos pide y no con lo que nuestros corazones necesitan.  La belleza, la lujuria, la vanidad, tan solo son cosas de un par de minutos de satisfaccion...lo puro, lo divino, y verdadero es aquello que vive con nosotros...los recuerdos de aquellos momentos que nos impulsaron a tener lo que en el presente se vive...

Aprendemos a obtener sabiduria, a recivir y dar amor.  Aprendemos a que el corazon siente, y que el alma vive con cada respiro y suspiro de sueños inalcanzables.

Esta es su historia, de sacrificios, de su vida en el mundo del engaño, en un mundo de soledad y inseguridad....

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LA FORTALEZA y la INSEGURIDAD de Esa Fortaleza

Ella tan solo pedia amor, honestidad, sinceridad, y valor...

Donde se fueron aquellas iluciones y esperanzas de vida repleta de amor, con iluciones de crecer una familia? donde se fueron aquellos momentos de brillo, de paz y tranquilidad, de risas y alregria?

Se acerca la Navidad, pero su corazon esta mas frio que nunca.  Su alma dejo de cantar los canticos de felicidad, dejo que las tormentas de hielo, granizo, y furia invadieran su ser.  Como dice la cancion de Mana, no ha parado de llover...sus ojos han creado un rio con fuertes corrientes y su nibel continua creciendo con cada lagrima derramada.

Sus sueños han sido invadidos con llantos, con insomio...pero tan solo suspira...como si gritara a los cuatro vientos que le otorgaran un pedacito de su vida. 

Ella emprendio su viaje, preparandose sobre un velero de mucha fortaleza...firme, grande y equipado para llevarla atravezar los oceanos de prueba...el velero era su vida, su amor, su fortaleza....aunque sin mapa, ella penso llegar a su destino sobre el velero y todos sus tripulantes...

Las mareas estan mas fuertes, el mar no deja de combatir los vientos, los seres vivientes y los tripulantes se alejan y la dejan sola para luchar contra las fuertes olas que la empujan aun mas lejos hacia una soledad inesperada. Ella cayo al mar, perdida..sola...y nadie se dio cuenta de su aucencia... Ahi, queda ella, cubierta de las emociones de todo aquello que algun dia penso amar. Que con todo lo que ella se esforzo, con mucho que ella trabajo para preparar ese velero, no le sirvio de mucho...las tormentas fueron mas grandes y feroces.  Ahora solo queda ese sentimiento de que estubo segura en un tiempo, de que el Velero la supo llevar solo a un lugar adecuado y luego la dejo naufragada....en un abrir y cerrar de ojos, sus iluciones, sus aspiraciones fueron arrojadas a la pronfundidad de aquel mar. 

Y ahi quedo, esperando el rescate...en completa oscuridad...ella quedo ahogandose en su propio llanto, apunto de darse por vencida...pero espera...con esperanzas de que el Velero que la arrojo al mar, no la abandone por completo...

Y asi, lo que fue su gran sacrificio, solo la llevo a un mundo lejano, donde todo quedo fuera de su alcanze, su vida, su sueños, quedaron muy lejos...solo quedo esa virtud de sobre vivencia...para algun dia si rescadada, pueda levantarse y seguir adelante.

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Mujer, deja la anciedad, corre a tu torre vive, deja que tu principe azul, llegue, pero no esperes para siempre..deja que tu corazon viva y continue dando de lo mas profundo que es el bello amor que resalta por doquier.

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Su suspiro aclamaba vida...su vida gritaba por amor...por valor, y fuerzas para luchar contra las corrientes de aquel mar inestable, y luchar contra la oscuridad invasora...ahi quedo esperando...esperando que su voz fuera escuchada, que su ser fuera levantado de aquel frio eterno y que su vida fuera rescatada....



"...vive...ella penso...dandose asi misma el valor y fuerza para alcanzar aquella luz lejana...un sueño de vivir y amar eternamente...vive repitio...suspirando y gritandole a la oscuridad que ella era mas fuerte que la soledad en la cual la arropaban..vive...vive...vive..."


NOTA:
Esto es una historia sin comienzo, sin fin, sin ningun punto...es una narracion de un sueño...
PD. Les digo que hay cabeza para ser creativa :) Espero les guste.

RUN AWAY & SAVE YOUR LIFE

"Run Away..run away if you want to survive...."

OFF INTO THE MERCY of the UNKNOWN

It all began on a late evening, date, time, and day unknown...but it was late.  The five ninos seemed to come to a conclusion that it was time to run away. Their mind was made up, they light the "living" room with a CANDIL - a gas like item used to light the house, there they sat, motionless..no one uttered a word.  Eventually they talked to their Papa Chico of what their plans were, the one and only person they trusted at that time, he was the only one that knew what these witty hearts were up to...

It was 4:30am, and the older kids were up and ready, they chased around the chickens they had grown, one by one they were placed in the Canasta (basket), unaware of the actual consequences that this act would have on the chickens, they were placed there carefully however, blocking out the air out of the basket...

by 5am, they had waken the little ones, dressed them, fed them and off they walked...it was by 5:30am that they carefully walked the damped weedy road, they carefully walked up the dirt road and into the other side of their little town, where they would stand and wait for the Carros (transporting trucks-no buses passed by that area). 

Somewhat nervous, unsure of what was about to take place, they waited..patiently yet anxious that they would be discovered of their mischief, their mis-deeds and "wrong" doings.  There was no turning back, all 5 ninos were ready.  They stood there on that cool and crisp morning, until there in the distance appeared what was their life saving opportunity.  The truck had arrived.

Off they went one by one and onto the truck they climbed.  Off into the unknown.  Just like the Song from Real McCoy, Run Away, it was so that they were running away to set their hearts free and venture into a life of their own, in search for unity, peace, and some love that could soothe away that uncertainty felt in their hearts.  They felt joy mixed with some pain althought it was wrong, it felt so right to be doing such adventurous act.

They arrived at Zacatecoluca, to one of the bus stops where they would start their route from Zacatecoluca to San Miguel, an aproximate 6hour drive because of the frequent stops and bus changes.  The oldest sibling was around 11 or 12 years old, the youngest was only 3 or 4.

This is yet another one of those stories, another day in paradise.  The paradise where these kids learned on their own the lessons of survival. 

How did they get to the bus stop, with what money? and who was the adult overseeing over these kids and  their welfare at those times?

Bus #1, you could hear the crowded streets of the many travelers yelling and moving around.  Lots of people yelling out, "pupusas, tostadas, Queso con yuca, chicharones!!??" Yes, the merchants who made their living selling out and about on bus stops where everywhere.  And there as the five ninos sat all pilled in one of the seats, carefully looking after each other, no one misbehaved, yet they were a furtunate more so than the kid who leaped into the bus attempting to make his living singing a melody...a sad melody that rings to this day on the nightly dreams of these small travelers....a kid no more than 10yrs of age began to sing to get some kind of reward, food, water, or money....no of which the five ninos could help with. 

The busy passengers, the adults were mesmerized at how five kids were traveling alone, or so they thought.  Neither one of the kids would direct their convertions to strangers. They did not speak, they took the ride in silence absorbing the many sounds and savouring the many smells of different foods at different stops. 

"MANGOS!!!, sceamed a lady, AGUA de COCO (coconut juice) screamed another, so many were the baskets and great was their hunger...in their hearts, their satisfaction reamained in the fact that they were far now, with every mile the bus drove, the further their past would remain...uncertain of what the future held, they did not turn back.

And so, their hearts grasped the true colors of their roots, their veins erupted with the rivers of passion to pursue their true desires, at such a young age, yes, however, they began their independency alone, venturing and daring to venture out in a world a country that had lost all hope.  In deed it seems hard to believe that these kids were able to travel that far and alone because of the lack of security that existed in El Salvador.  The "civil war" that began in the early 80s had recently ended in 1992 and although the scar was fresh and the wound still blead, these kids held onto their faith and whatever it was that was driving their mind, their hearts, kept them safe...

As the ride continued, passing Rio Lempa, the thoughts began to emerge...was this the right decision, did or should they have done it differently perhaps announced it to another adult and share their vision?

The song began to play, Real McCoy, RUN AWAY, seems it was a very popular song then...it stuck in their head and it is one of those songs that kidnaps the heart, mind, and soul and takes them back into that bus and takes the ride over the long route of insecurity and uncertainty.

It seemed that the bus would never get to it's final destination...they arrived to a terminal where they had to change yet again the buses.  Each time they changed buses and it began it's trip to San Miguel, the song would play.. althought the kids could not understand the words of the song, in their head they chanted the words over and over again, until they had memorized it....the kids some of which were sleeping or at least the youngest ones, leaned their head against the window observing the volcanos in the distance...wondering if they could reach the top if they were to walk it in one day...their mind trailed off into the adventurous wonders of how marvelous a volcanoe seems to be...the mystery and ovewhelming power hidden right beneath that monstrous mountain.

You could see the coffee farms, the pineapple farms, fields and fields of different crops appeared at the foot of the volcanoes..  everything was so pure, yet there were the lives of those who worked hard to create what the passer bys saw from the exterior...it was so intoxicatingly beautiful.

Over the mountains and past the llanos (forrestry areas), the bus traveled....carrying the precious cargo that although unknown of the time, would reflect on those moments to recapture the blessings they obtained from those journeys. 

And so as the wheels kept turning, the sound of the loud motors and the suffocating heat from all the crowded passangers planted a seed of self discovery into the ninos who anxiously and almost with no hesitation appreciated every bit of that moment of that day and their adventure into a world of the unknown.

They were far and were running away from their security, their home, the place where their hearts would run freely...whether they would return or not, their journey, their voyaje had just began....they left the country unknowingly of what the future would hold infront of them.

Once they arrived to their final destination, they walked the rest of the way, to see their Mama Catocha, to be with her...such was her love and joy upon seeing the ninos that she threw herself all over them...although her expression demonstrated she was afraid yet relieved the kids were there safe...it was all in all a shock...

Greater was the schock of all to realize that the chickens had suffocated and not a single one managed to survive. 

And so, here is the grand story of five little adventurer's that regardless of their lack of source, they knew only where they wanted to be and were guided by that angel that God had placed next to them the entire time.  Not a single adult that saw them alone would dare ask or even disturb the tranquility of these little travelers...No one dared ask and no one disturbed such a peaceful reflection of these kids's expressions.

It was if they were on quest for freedom or as if they were leaving a world of dangers and disruption in their life, to some extend they were, however, it has yet to be discovered what these five ninos were up to. They were on a challenge to keep that Faith to keep living the life that they were blessed with.  Regardless of whatever difficulties, the lesson remains true to this day, they were the ones that liberated their hearts to never surrender upon the faintest or glamorous of worldy atractions.

Materials, money, come and go, however, the bond that was generated by these ninos was an cobweb of purity and loyalty to each other, the promise to love and support each other and be there for one another regardless of the many changes that life would bring forth... It was planted in their DNA, to be exactly that, the explorer's, the knowledge seekers...


...and the five ninos made it all the way....they had discovered that they were made for this type of explorations, that it was in their genetics to discover the world all on their own...they learned the lyrics of the song RUN AWAY by the time their 6hour trip had ended...and their hearts and minds had earned far greater respect and knowledge than anyone could imagine at such a young age.  They matured with each passing hour until they had a piece of wisdom and knowledge within them.

"...and so, their heart stored deep within a passion, a unity and love that would no one could ever invade..."

NOTE: picture of EL SALVADOR MAP to come sometime soon.  Also, NOTE: listen to the song RUN AWAY from Real McCoy to get an idea of what the song is about.

This story is yet to be edited some more - well, none of the others are edited, however, there might be more information that needs to be revealed, but all in due time.

FOREVER LOST - PERDIDA ETERNAMENTE

"Her heart stood still, motionless, waiting to be raptured and swept into a world of beauty, honesty, peace, and purest of joy..."


FOREVER LOST - PERDIDA ETERNAMENTE

It's 1st of December 2011, the beginning of the end of this year.  Seems too cliche to say that it was just Christmas was just yesterday! It is true however, seems things have gone by way too fast. 

Perhaps this is another one of those Christmas for me.  I am perhaps one of the most complex human beings you will ever meet...Christmas season brings me a cold feeling in my heart.  Seems that the Grinch tends to not only successfully steal my Christmas, but rather converts my heart into a cold slab of ice. 

Christmas long long long ago ended for me. If I look back in time, I can pin point that day, that era, that moment when Christmas ended...

It happened at midnight Christmas of 1994, when everyone went to sleep, alone I ran out side and began the ritual of a celebration of Christmas..poping the loudest of fireworks, lighting everything I could possibly burn, I ran left, right, left again over and over the front yard poping things and burning fireworks as fast as I could.  I thought that if our front yard had the most wrappers that perhaps that would mean were the best at poping the fireworks.

Alone, underneath the half moon way up high, I celebrated that Christmas....Alone I took on that challenge, listening all around me how many were lighting the fireworks.  The sound, the smell, the smoke floated everywhere, but I was too excited.  I did not care to be alone underneath the blanket of smoke and the danger of accidentally getting burn.  My heart was too excitedly hurrying, lining up the different fireworks.  All were lined up, small, big, small, big....until my basket was almsot empty....but there on the very end was the CYCLONE.

Yes, I had a fireworkd bigger than my own hands could wrap around.  It almost looked like an atomic bomb, so big, so dangerous! I was all excited and placed it on a far post near the house, right next to a light pole, and decided to set it off.  Without giving it much thought, I ran as fast as I could to seek shelter and hide.

Not fully realizing the force and power of the huge CYCLONE, I had set it on fire.  My ears were schocked, my heart paralyzed, it exploded so loudly as if it were a nuclear bomb, you could feel how the electro magnetic waves raised the very small hairs all over your body.  Not only did it scared me half to death, scared everyone and managed to break part of the light pole and our light cut off....

that was the last Christmas that I can remember where my heart was captured in time and everything was heavenly.  Where Christmas morning was not about the presents, but rather time to have a good breakfast, gather up all equipment to camp out all day at the beach... we would have rostiseri chicken on real charcoal, tamales of different kind, traditional christmas sandwiches....and we were all happy and satisfied.

Now Christmas here seems it is about the ornaments, the spending of tons of money in order to satisfy someone's "desires" not needs, and come to find out that it isn't enough....it is not about the love and affection of spending time together celebrating the birth of our Saviour, but rather a time to drain down all your savings and attempt to reconcile love and money on the artificial-materials of this world.

I am not sure how i could describe my feelings, however, I get very melancholy during the Christmas season. Perhaps that all might change once I have a kid.  In the mean time I continue to work on discovering what it is that makes me feel so sad during this time. 

Christmas somehow stayed behind me along everything else that I lost...somewhere along this life time I hope to recover some of what was taken from me. 

Perhaps my life is floating lamely on this world and I am stuck in my past, however, I am reviving those moments in order to find a meaning of what my experiences have been...to teach myself over and over that this life is not mine and that what I have lived is meant for someone to have a piece of knowledge about that character, that ME way back when. 

NOTE: Told you, I am a very COMPLEX person, perhaps to deep in thought....

"and so, her journey, her heart remain in the unknown, in a moment of reflection...waiting...waiting to discover the true meaning of what is happening all around her.."

AVENTURERA, SIN MAPA, SIN RUMBO

"como una estranjera, ella recorroio los caminos abandonados, las rutas despreciadas....todo lo que aquellos vieron imperfecto, ella, le encontro la perfeccion..."

VIVIR NO ES SIMPLEMENTE VIVIR

En la vida aprendemos a caminar los caminos olvidados, a atravezar lo menospreciado, a encontrar la belleza en el mundo de la soledad. 

Ella los camino... sola empezo una busqueda, una travesura de recorrer el mundo, de vivir todo aquello que la persona comun dejo atras.  Ella lo acepto. 

Dia a dia su vida fue creciendo, su fe aumento, su espiritu aventurero le trajo todo lo que nunca espero.  Si, con altos y bajos, pero de cada experiencia ella tomo esa prueba y lo aplico a todo lo que devia aprender. 

Siendo tan solo una nina, ella tenia la madurez, las abilidades de una joven adulta.  Se encontraba sola, en un mundo feroz, donde los lobos, los depredadores la amenasaban, ella siguio adelante.  Muchas fueron las pruebas de fe, muchas fueron las lagrimas que derramo...poco a poco ella se volvio una mujer. 

Despues de recorrer las montanas, despues de resvalar varias veces, ella logro sostenerse de lo que Dios le dio y se convertio en una mujer virtuosa. 

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Toda su vida ella penso tenerlo todo...no conocia mas que los limites de donde vivia...en el campo, al lado de un rio, juntando los mangoes maduros, saboreando los jocotes verdes...ella penso ser tan feliz.  Dia a dia ella madrugaba, ordenando las vacas, y alimentando las gallinas...en su mente, ella visito las cuatro esquinas del mundo, se perdio en el mundo de las iluciones, sosteniendose de los rieles del Niagara Falls fuerte y mientras admiraba la belleza de lo grande que es... pero en la realidad sus manos mostraban el arduo trabajo...las ampoyas del sostener la pala....en su frente solo corria el sudor salado que parecia no tener fin.   En pleno sol trabajaba limpiando los surcos de maiz, ayudando a su abuelo quien era el hombre que le enseno todo.  A apreciar la belleza en el trabajo y de no depender de nadie mas que en sus propias manos.

Sus tardes consistian en apartar los terneros, en especial de la vaca llamada Cerveza, una vaca muy rabiosa y temida por todos. Pero era una tarea.  Nerviosa y un poco fatigada, ella sobre vivio el ataque feroz.

Pero nada era mejor que sonar bajo la luz de la luna, apoyar su cabeza en el estomago de un buey y sentir como cada organo se movia mientras sus ojos se pierdian en la belleza, en el circulo perfecto tan iluminoso, tan inalcanzable...no habia nada mejor que sentir la carisia del viento en una tarde calida en un mundo imperfecto pero perfecto en sus hojos.

Ella tan solo tenia 10 anos.  Era toda una mujer capturada en el alma de una nina.  Ahi, en esos tiempos fue donde una mujer virtuosa, con mucho mas que belleza se formo.  Donde sus manos, alcanzaron todo, y su mundo se abrio al mundo exterior....

En lo que fue un abrir y cerrar de ojos, su mundo murio.  Su mundo se perdio y fue dejado en el abandono.  Olvidado para siempre, para tan solo recordarlo con una simple melodia...el sonido de un silbato...tristemente resuena en su ADN, recorriendo los rios de furia y curiosidad.....en las profundidades de su corazon....

Ella lo perdio todo.  Fue raptada de su mundo de crystal, como si fuese una marioneta, ella cambio de escenario, y se encontro en un mundo perdido, donde su idioma parecia no ser aceptado.  Ella perdio todo cantico, tada voz, y quedo muda ante el jigante, el mundo del pavemento.

Hoy, no queda mas que una memoria, un suspiro, y un aroma de lo que fueron esos dias.  Cuando las gotas de lluvia caen sobre el suelo, sobre la tierra, levanta un aroma tan agradable... nada mas que TIERRA, el respirar, y sentir como ese aroma invade los pulmones es como tomar un reloj viejo y hacerlo jirar alrevez...asi ella logra conectarse con lo que fue su nines, con lo que Dios le dio para fortalecerze y hacer de ella una mujer con valores...con abilidades que no se encuentran....

El ayer sigue viviendo...ella lo tiene todo y sigue sonando con el pasar de los dias, con cada prueba de fe, ella se fortaleze mas....

.."entre la multitud camina, floreciendo con cada sonrisa, sembrando sus cultivos, creciendo sus raices, ella sigue en pie....apesar de las heridas, de las espinas que se le atravesaron en su camino, ella vive mas fuerte que nunca"


Algunas cosas que intento escribir en espanol.  Aveces algunas historietas suelen ser mejor en espanol.  Disculpen por la falta de vocabulario, gramatica y como dicen por ahi, ortografia, que al fin y al cabo esto es solo un medio de expresion ;-)

Triste - Two hearts in two worlds

"And she came out of her balcony facing the sunset and stood up high, took a deep breath...tears rolling down her eyes, she gently closed them...her heart traveled miles and miles to meet him there...transporting her soul to the everlasting place of peace..." - Maria

I am pathetic. Being completely honest. I am pathetic. 

I am that person, who falls in love with the inner beauty of things, with the wonders of our creator, and most importantly have a profound love for my hubby.  Let me just go straight into the point, he is away, traveling in Uruguay while I am here a few 6000miles away, missing him like crazy.  Am I not pathetic? I did say it. 

This is a good thing.  It is good for us to have that experience so that we can learn to carefully appreciate the detials of our love for each other.  He traveled early this August till the 15th, 2011

Not sure if I needed to write this down, however, guess I will not go into more detials :) I do miss my amor.

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"And so her heart merged with the magical winds of purity carrying her emotions of love to him.  She revealed her heart with the eternal light and warmth from the Sun...."



NOTE: This took place in August, I had written this however, completely forgot to "publish" I guess that is very common for me because I have tons of "drafts."  Here is what I had written not much but it's something.

Abundant Life

"And she walked as quietly as she could, attempting not to make a sound...she stood there..feeling eyes all around her, as if a ghostly presence walked with her..."

God is everywhere.  You can hear Him when the wind blows across the fields, you can see Him when the trees sway at His magical touch.  He is everywhere, always being that faithful companion regardless of the human behavior...He is a true lover, faithful, and merciful.

When humans fail, friends, family, acquaintances...HE doesn't fail. 

The story goes something like this to interpret how God does not fail you or abandon you regardless of what you do, HE insists and patiently waits on you...

The Love that Never Existed

She walked the sandy beaches alone, admiring the beauty all around her.  Absorbing the most unexplaining joy, peace, and tranquility.  She walked non stop, dipping her feet in the foamy salty waters of the ocean.  Slowly she would bend to pick up the shells in total wonder and awe of the beauty and delicacy of such creation.  She walked...in search for the promised love her heart needed...her heart searched.

Her heart hidden behind a veil of uncertainty....

She was at peace, completely in love with HIS magestic promises, with HIS creations, the love that she needed was there.  She was blinded however, by the veil of worldly greeds, human love....And thus she spent many evenings, many sunsets patiently waiting....

Until one day he came across her path.  A mature young man with high promises and great manners, beliefs, morals, values...in her list, he could be the candidate God had prepared for her.  She waited.  Waited on God and this young man to make the moves....she waited...

It all unveiled right before her eyes, that her hopes, her expectations were not God's expectations.  This gentlemen seemed perfect, he knew the word of God left and right...he carried himself with perfect purity, yet she waited.  A friendship evolved, they were the perfect companions for each other, both loved to take trips to silent evenings on the salty waters, enjoyed being in silence next to each other...time flew, they grew fond of each other and closer, much closer to each other...yet, she had to wait...

In the end, she had waited...long enough or not, she had waited...but nothing.  He gained her trust, her love, they were best friends...yet she had grown a bit tired of waiting...thus she waited no more.  He walked away and she simply turned her head and continued in her path....she was blinded by her love for him.  She had given so much and invested so much, yet lost it all in a heart beat.  He walked away...........

LESSON

You see, she had so many expectations from this love, from this episode of her life.  She had trusted God with her whole heart, yet she felt betrayed...the man turned his back on her and left, yet God stood there next to her, telling her that It is IN HIS GOOD TIME not hers.

God is everywhere. She tried to find HIM in the wrong place and according to her expectations, her needs and desires.  It is a lesson that regardless of what circumstances we face in this life, rely on God our Father to know what it is true, what He has in store for us is different than what our human nature expects to receive.

God was always very alert, watching her heart very closely although she may have rebeled against Him.  He never left her side.  God is God and she is that instrument of love, an example of God's masterpieces at it's best. 

As Humans, we strive to accomplish our own desires, needs, and we forget that our life is manipulated by the sinful world around us.  We are monitored as the impulsive living organisms who act upon our own egocentrical, humanistic needs rather than to stop and listen to what God is saying to us....He touches our hearts daily, frequently reminding us that the BEST IS YET TO COME, to be patient, humble, and overall to be graceful and live in complete reverence to His magnificent blessings, His guidance, His abundant love.

Yes, we fail to trust HIM completely in every situation.  For as negative or as positive things seem, be grateful to HIM....it's HIS time, not yours. 

His eyes were always fixed on her..

"And she continued walking the desolate lands, breathing every bit of the rejuvenating touch of an evenings' crisp cool breeze...she was patient...God rewarded her with abundant life...."

Reflecting on Life's abundant lessons, of surving the daily tourture of becoming a world individual or surrendering what you are, who you are, and how you choose to live life..... A Reflection to remind the unwitty heart to keep waiting and be patient on God's deliverance.